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Parenting
When Your Partner Declares It’s Time for a Disney Adventure
by Alex Thompson
Updated: Dec. 18, 2023
Originally Published: April 18, 2022
This book is a riot (“Alex Thompson must be stopped. My spouse thinks they’re funnier than me,” a well-known comedian is quoted as saying on the cover), irreverent, and undeniably entertaining. In the excerpt below, Alex and their theme park-enthusiast partner Jamie prepare for a family trip to Disney—a plan that, predictably, leaves Alex feeling less than enthusiastic. © Gallery Books
Like many of us grappling with the chaos of parenthood, Jamie dreams of doing things differently. Growing up, family traditions and celebrations were sparse, so now they’re abundant in adult life. Taco Tuesday! Family Hiking Adventures! Let’s Make a Sweet Deal! Our life together resembles a series of extravagant celebrations, complete with taco bars and dessert stations. But you can’t stand in Jamie’s way; it’d be a bore to try.
Jamie seems to suffer from a severe case of emotional nostalgia, a relentless desire to reclaim the joys of childhood they never fully experienced. It’s exhausting, yet on my more understanding days, I empathize. I might roll my eyes while kneading dough for pizza or ordering a piñata, knowing well the feeling of longing for something more. So when Jamie announced, “Alex, we’re heading to Disney World,” my instinct was to politely decline and declare that there was no way I was taking that trip. Instead, I smiled and nodded, retreating to bed while secretly thinking: oh, good grief.
Say the word Disney in public, and you’ll evoke two very different reactions. One person will transform into a giddy child, eyes sparkling like little Mickey Mouse ears, while another will embark on a tirade about how their daughter doesn’t need a prince for happiness, thank you very much. Bring up Disney World, and you’ll either witness a meltdown or be subjected to someone’s vivid recounting of their experience on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, complete with tales of near-vomit on Dumbo.
It seems everyone has a Disney story, including Jamie. I learned that their blended family made the trek in a Chevy Impala wagon. With too many people and luggage for seats, Jamie and their stepbrother were crammed into the trunk area. Jamie’s most vivid memory was begging their stepfather to stop at Wet ‘N Wild Water Park, which you pass before reaching Disney World. That request was met with a firm no. The only other thing Jamie remembers is hearing their stepfather grumble on the long drive home, “Well, we are never doing THAT again.”
My own version of Disney history is rooted in Tomorrowland, where my family couldn’t handle a ride faster than the Hall of Presidents. As a nine-year-old, I desperately pleaded for anyone to join me on Space Mountain, but I was met with three resounding no’s. My father clutched his designer belt, insisting he’d probably get sick; my brother refused, too frightened and also thinking about barfing; and my mother, sensing my indecision, urged me to decide quickly because she thought she heard thunder and wasn’t feeling well. An imaginary line was drawn at that moment, separating me from them. They transformed into a group of lame superheroes—The Reluctant Avengers—who actively chose not to save the day due to their worries and fears. I stared across that line and thought: Fine, I’ll ride alone. Maybe someone will kidnap me. Maybe I’ll fall and die, and then they’d understand. So, I did ride alone (and thankfully did not get kidnapped or die). I remember nothing else.
A trip to Disney World, much like parenting, offers a chance for a do-over. Some revisit the park with their young families to recapture the magic, while others return to mend old wounds. Jamie and I approach our childhood repair kits in different ways. They throw grand parties and plan unforgettable days, while I ensure no one rides alone. Yet, despite all the past wrongs I want to amend, I was still utterly uninterested in making the trip. I resorted to my classic tactic to escape.
“You know, I was thinking. Disney is rather pricey,” I mentioned one evening while tidying up the kitchen. This usually gives Jamie pause.
“Well, you only live once,” they replied. “The kids will remember this forever.”
“Isn’t it hurricane season?”
“There won’t be a hurricane,” Jamie said, engrossed in researching the best family-friendly pool in the Orlando area. “Do you care if we don’t stay on campus?”
Campus. They were already using the lingo. I knew I was in trouble.
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Summary
In this humorous reflection on family vacations, Alex navigates the challenges of planning a trip to Disney World with their enthusiastic partner, Jamie. While Jamie’s longing for childhood experiences pushes them to create family traditions, Alex grapples with their own reluctance to embrace the Disney adventure. Through shared stories and personal memories, the narrative captures the essence of parenting, nostalgia, and the complexities of family life.