Every parent deserves a night out filled with laughter and perhaps a few too many drinks. However, as any parent will tell you, indulging in a few cocktails can lead to some morning-after consequences. The responsibility of caring for little ones tends to fade as the number of drinks increases. While it may be a stretch to compare hangovers to the stages of grief, I found myself navigating through similar feelings after a recent night with friends.
Here are the stages of hungover parenting:
- Denial: This phase hits hard and fast. You groggily open one eye and are struck with the realization that it’s Saturday, and you can’t just call in “sick.” Your kids have taken over your bed, and you optimistically believe that a couple of pain relievers and a fizzy soda will fix everything. It’s not that bad, right? Then, you move too quickly, and a wave of nausea hits—praying for the floor to swallow you is futile.
- Embarrassment: The embarrassment can be overwhelming, especially when your oldest child innocently asks why there’s a half-eaten fast food item next to you. Quickly divert their attention and insist they tackle their homework, only to be reminded that it’s Saturday. Curse you, Saturday!
- Anger: It’s crucial to get out of this mindset swiftly. While it’s tempting to fantasize about how you’d take revenge on the bartender who served you too much, remember that they are not the enemy. The Lego piece you stepped on didn’t mean to hurt you, and blaming your children for your choices won’t change the situation.
- Bargaining: Attempting to reason with kids is usually a lost cause, but when you’re struggling to string together coherent thoughts, it’s even worse. Kids, much like dogs, can sense weakness, and if you’re in a bargaining mood, you might find them munching on a candy bar for breakfast. But don’t worry—no child has suffered long-term from a sugary start to the day. That candy bar can buy you much-needed couch time to recover.
- Sighing: This phase is just an endless stream of sighs.
- Depression: Here, self-pity takes center stage as you come to grips with the fact that there are still many hours left in the day, and your kids will be awake for most of them. Sadness feels as heavy as your old jeans. It’s perfectly normal to shed a few tears while contemplating a chocolate shake, though driving might be questionable.
- Acceptance: Finally, you reach the point of acceptance. After all the tears, sighs, and short-lived bargains, you realize today is just not your day. You own your choices and decide to embrace parenting from the couch, still in your pajamas, ordering pizza for every meal, and counting down the minutes until bedtime. You might even swear off alcohol—at least until the next opportunity arises.
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Summary: Navigating the challenges of parenting while nursing a hangover is a unique journey filled with denial, embarrassment, and ultimately acceptance. Understanding these stages can help parents manage their responsibilities even on their toughest mornings.