Every time I step into Abercrombie & Fitch, I’m greeted by one of their sharply dressed, plaid-clad sales associates. While this slick introduction works perfectly for two 19-year-olds, it becomes somewhat absurd when exchanged between a skinny-jeans-loving hipster and a yoga-pants-wearing mom in her forties. We all feel the awkwardness—me, the sales associate, and my perpetually embarrassed kids.
To ease the tension, I typically respond with, “Um… not much.” However, there are countless other replies I’d love to give. Here are a few of my favorites:
- “Well, I’m dealing with a frontal wedgie, running late to Zumba, and need to schedule my next mammogram. How about you?”
- “Ever since I added more fiber to my diet, life has been pretty eventful!”
- “Could you point me to your ‘plus size’ section, please?”
- “I’d like a gin and tonic with extra lime, if you please!”
- “Are you as disappointed as I am about Zayn leaving One Direction?”
- “Did you forget to pay your electric bill again?”
- “LOL! TTYL!”
- “Can you crank up the music? I can’t feel the bass in my left kidney!”
- “Why are you so close to me?”
- “Any suggestions on where to find some really cheap cologne that smells strong?”
- “And where might I find your mom jeans?”
- “Aren’t you going to ask for my ID?”
- “Does this hoodie come in adult sizes, or do you only cater to 5T?”
- “I’d love to browse, but I left my guide dog at home.”
- “Looks like you’ve got a lot of funky swag in here, for sure.”
- “Did you see Downton last night? Things are getting wild!”
- “Want help folding those shirts? That stack is looking a bit messy.”
- “I’m sorry, but my heart’s taken.”
- “ACTIVIAAAAAA!”
- “What’s your take: Toyota Sienna or Honda Odyssey?”
- “If I could turn back time… If I could find a way!”
- “1996 just called, and it wants its flannel shirt back… oh, never mind.”
- “Hang on, I’m searching for my Groupon. It’s around here somewhere.”
- “I think I might have dated your dad in high school… or maybe we just got tipsy and hooked up.”
- “Did you mean ‘What’s up?’ because, ‘That’s what she said!’”
For more laughs and relatable content, check out this blog post from our other site here. You might also be interested in this guide on artificial insemination kits for more information on home insemination, and this excellent resource for pregnancy help can be found here.
In summary, while the interactions with Abercrombie’s sales associates can be cringe-worthy, they also present a fun opportunity to respond with a dash of humor. Next time you’re greeted, consider using one of these playful replies to lighten the mood!