Before and after becoming a mother, I’ve always identified as a woman. I started my journey as a tomboy, and eventually flirted with the idea of mastering the perfect cat-eye eyeliner (which I never really achieved). Throughout my career, I’ve discovered that being a woman in the workforce often brings unexpected challenges—sometimes disheartening, especially when reflecting on how far we’ve truly come.
Writing about raising daughters has led me to confront various issues, from critiquing the concept of “Real Women” to advocating against the trivialization of violence toward women and sexual abuse. I’ve voiced concerns about the unhealthy focus on body image that seems to loom over young women today.
The recent #ImNoAngel campaign struck a chord with many, attempting to counter the polished images of the Victoria’s Secret Angels and to offer a new perspective on what it means to be sexy. I understand the intent behind this movement. I’ve walked through malls and seen the airbrushed images of women who represent an ideal that most of us don’t see in the mirror. The lead-up to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue has often left me feeling inadequate.
However, I believe the answer isn’t about taking “sexy” away from anyone. Instead, shouldn’t we strive to redefine it for all women? It’s important to recognize that feeling sexy is just one facet of our existence. Our perceptions of what makes us feel attractive will evolve throughout our lives.
While the #ImNoAngel hashtag is clever and attention-grabbing, it doesn’t provide a true solution. As a woman and a mother, I feel it perpetuates a cycle of competition among women. This either/or dichotomy fosters a sense of one-upmanship concerning who is more authentic or appealing. I find myself in the middle ground—not quite fitting the mold of plus-size, yet not slim and busty either. I enjoy feeling desired, but I also value the deeper aspects of my identity.
- I am intelligent.
- I am tall.
- I speak multiple languages.
- I am funny.
- I am creative.
- I am both curvy and strong.
- I embody both toughness and sensitivity.
In our culture, sex sells, and when someone decided to vilify women over a size 10, brands like Lane Bryant felt compelled to adopt a provocative stance to gain visibility. While I understand their motivations, I wish I could fully support them without reservations. It often feels like they’re dragging us into a battle we never initiated.
My hope is that we can collectively advocate for representation in media that reflects all of us. I want my three daughters, each uniquely shaped and with their own interests, to feel acknowledged and valued. I don’t want them to compete based on who is more feminine or appealing. I envision clothing options that cater to diverse body types—designs that embrace the broad shoulders of my middle child, edgy styles for my free-spirited firstborn, and durable fabrics that suit my youngest’s athleticism. I desire a world where girls have choices beyond just pink and where we recognize that our shapes and styles do not define our worth.
None of us is an “angel.” We are women, and we are extraordinary.
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Summary:
This article discusses the importance of empowering daughters to embrace their individuality and reject societal pressures regarding body image and femininity. The author advocates for a diverse representation of women in media and highlights the complexities of womanhood, encouraging a supportive environment for all girls.