“Mommy,” my 4-year-old, Lily, says with a wide grin, “You’re my best friend!”
“That’s really sweet,” I reply.
“And…?” she prompts, expectantly.
“And I love you,” I add, hoping to change the subject.
Lily stands there, still looking for a different reply. With all the sincerity of a child, she continues, “And? You didn’t say I’m your best friend back.”
In my mind, I think, “Well, that’s because you’re not my best friend.” I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but the truth is, kids make the worst best friends.
When I hear fellow moms refer to their little ones as their best buddies, I can’t help but feel a touch of sympathy. Clearly, they’ve never experienced what a true friendship is like. I mean, when was the last time your best friend threw snacks all over your car and then yelled at you for asking her to clean it up? Just moments before Lily declared her love, she had told her stuffed unicorn the same thing!
I have a genuine adult best friend, Sarah, who I’ve known since high school. Unlike Lily, Sarah has never commented on my “big tummy” or questioned why my breath smells like coffee. And guess what? She wouldn’t dream of leaving her mess for me to clean up. So, here are ten reasons why my child is definitely not my best friend:
- Kids Don’t Pick Up the Tab: When was the last time your toddler offered to cover the bill? Adult friendships involve sharing expenses, while kids just expect you to pay.
- Best Friends Don’t Steal Your Sleep: Imagine if your best friend woke you up at 3 a.m. because she had a nightmare, then asked for water and back rubs. My kids do just that, and then some!
- Trash Hand-Offs: My adult friend has never handed me her empty snack wrappers. Yet, my kids seem to think it’s perfectly acceptable to pass me their garbage.
- Birthday Gifts? You Pay: Can you picture your best friend saying, “For your birthday, I want to get you a scarf, but you’ll need to drive me and pay for it”? Kids make you cover your own gifts!
- Driving Duties: Wouldn’t it be nice to lounge in the backseat while your best friend drives you to your destination? Not happening with kids—they always demand a ride.
- Flexibility in Plans: A true best friend lets you choose the activity from time to time. My children, however, insist on specific outings, like a park visit, or else they won’t budge.
- Finding Lost Items: My best friend doesn’t expect me to locate her shoes or homework. Kids, on the other hand, have no qualms about putting the blame on me when they misplace their belongings.
- Punctuality Matters: No matter how organized I am, my kids always find a way to make us late with their “Just one more minute!” excuses. Adult friends, meanwhile, usually communicate about delays.
- Repetitive Stories: You don’t go out to dinner with a friend who tells you the same tale over and over. Kids, however, are notorious for their endless narratives.
- No Loyalty: In a best friendship, you both commit to the relationship. Kids, however, seem to find new best friends every hour, whether it’s a toy or a character from their favorite show. Best friendship should come with a sense of loyalty!
While the bond between a parent and child is irreplaceable, it certainly has its challenges. If only kids could stop handing me their garbage and waking me up at all hours—life might be a bit sweeter!
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Summary:
This article humorously explores why children, despite their declarations of love and friendship, are not the best friends parents envision. From their inability to pay for anything to their constant need for attention, the differences between a true friendship and the parent-child relationship are highlighted. Ultimately, while children bring joy and chaos, the bonds of friendship with adults are undeniably different.