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25 Surprising Realities About Approaching 50
As you edge closer to 50, you might think, “How hard can it be?” Well, let me tell you, you might want to stock up on pain relievers before tackling any daily tasks—like simply pressing an elevator button!
Surprisingly, you’ll often feel like you’re still in your 20s—until you catch your reflection and reality hits. On the bright side, you’ll find you need to shave your legs less often. And let’s be real: your neck may start to resemble that of a turtle.
It seems like everyone around you is younger—your brain surgeon, your pilot, and yes, even your kids’ friends! If you’re single, embracing it can feel liberating; you know what you want and you’re not afraid to ask for it. Married life brings its own set of challenges, but your fantasies? They’ll remain as vivid as ever.
Oh, and congratulations! An automatic AARP membership is on its way! You might still hold onto grudges from decades past, but they won’t consume your thoughts. In fact, you’ll find that your ability to care about trivial matters has diminished significantly—in a positive way!
If a friend bails on lunch more than twice, it’s time to move on. Life is too short for that nonsense. You’ll also gain a deeper understanding of just how much you don’t know. Menopause? Think of it as a hidden blessing—goodbye tampons and birth control! You might just look back and wonder how you tolerated that chaos for so long.
Guess what? You’ve officially transformed into your mother. And those veins you never noticed? They’re now quite prominent! When a doctor asks where you’d like a biopsy scar, you’ll probably chuckle and say, “Just add it to the collection.”
One glass of wine with dinner? It’ll keep you wide awake at 3 a.m. And that dream of a bulging savings account? Good luck with that! You may even find yourself connecting with someone at a social event who’s closer in age to your kids than to you.
Your tolerance for 24-hour news channels? It will plummet. You’ll find yourself contemplating that any activity—be it plucking your eyebrows, self-pleasuring, or even something as absurd as rubbing your eyes with glass—would be more enjoyable than watching the news.
You’ll start to view human folly with curiosity rather than annoyance, like an anthropologist observing an unfamiliar culture. Revisiting Shakespeare will leave you in awe of his intellect. Conversely, any book that fails to capture your interest within ten pages? Straight to the donation pile.
And all those years spent raising children? They’ll pay off in ways you never imagined. As you share dinner with these once-tiny, demanding beings, you may realize, “Wow, I’d totally be friends with these people even without the parent-child connection.”
Speaking of parenthood, let’s save the gory details about vaginas for another day. If you want to explore more about home insemination, check out this insightful article on intracervical insemination. For those considering options for starting a family, Make A Mom offers a wealth of information on home insemination kits. Additionally, Women’s Health is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
As you approach 50, you’ll discover unexpected truths about aging. From feeling youthful yet facing new realities, to embracing new freedoms and letting go of past grievances, this decade can be enlightening. Your relationships will evolve, and you’ll appreciate the rewards of parenting as your children grow into remarkable adults.