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Twenty Questions I Can’t Quite Answer About Parenting
Parenting can feel like a game of endless inquiries, with kids hurling an average of 250 questions a day. Multiply that by my three little ones, and it’s no wonder I find myself with a twitchy eyelid and a glass of wine in the shower.
Most of their questions are simple and don’t require much thought—like, “Why are you shouting at that driver if he can’t hear you?” It’s because he’s driving like a total maniac! But then there are those head-scratchers, such as “Why do we have eyebrows?” For those, I have Google.
But some questions stump me—I know the answers, but articulating them to a child without opening a Pandora’s box of follow-up questions is a challenge. Here are twenty of those perplexing queries, along with the answers that rattle around in my mind:
- Where are the cows on that truck headed? To a farm, where they can be free.
- Why do you and Dad share a bed? Honestly, it’s a mystery to me. After a long day of chaos, I’m usually too tired to think about anything except my alarm clock for tomorrow.
- What does this song mean? Wait, I zoned out—how long have I been driving? Is that a lake? Is it still Tuesday?
- Why do you wear makeup? Because I sometimes struggle to embrace the “just be yourself” mantra I tell you.
- Where was I before I was born? Probably somewhere peaceful, like the cows.
- Why do we have to make our beds? Because I had to do it as a kid. Now please eat your food!
- Any question about time measurements. Um, it’s just… it’s an HOUR! looks around for an object to demonstrate, points at the clock We’ll go to the zoo in two cartoons—how does that sound?
- How did that baby get in her tummy? Ice cream, anyone?
- How did I come out of your tummy? Let’s just say it was a challenge.
- Why is it thundering? Is that thunder? I thought my head was just being loud.
- Why do you forget things? Because I’ve lived a colorful life that may have involved a little too much fun!
- Why are you staring at your phone? Because I really don’t want to talk right now.
- What is a tampon for? It’s my body’s not-so-subtle way of reminding me of the monthly surprise.
- Does everyone die? Yes, and it’s a scary thought that I wish you didn’t have to think about yet.
- Why go to the dentist if we’re just going to die? Because I want you to have a great smile for your future partner.
- Why don’t you have a job? Because managing you three is a full-time gig!
- What are hot dogs made of? Let’s just say they’re not made from rainbows and sunshine.
- If fast food is bad, why do we go to Taco Bell? I’m banking on future miracle pills to fix my parenting choices.
- Why do people drink beer? Because laundry is like a never-ending cycle, just like parenting.
- How can a falling star grant wishes if it’s just a rock? Because magic exists, just like the fairy tale of Santa Claus.
It’s exhausting, but this is the beauty of childhood: their endless curiosity and revelations that shape their understanding of the world. I just hope they don’t find out the real reason why Mom and Dad sleep in the same bed!
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In summary, parenting is a rollercoaster of questions that challenge our patience and creativity. Yet, it’s these very inquiries that enrich our lives and keep us on our toes.