Navigating Life as a Single Mom in Recovery

Being a single mom in recovery from alcoholism comes with its own unique challenges and triumphs. As part of my journey, I’ve been advised to refrain from dating for a year. This guideline, often emphasized in support groups, is designed to help me focus on rebuilding my life and understanding who I am without the influence of a relationship. While I understand the rationale behind this advice, it’s a tough pill to swallow, especially since I’ve had a long history of romantic involvement—dating back to my nursery school sweetheart.

Focusing on Self-Discovery

Right now, the focus is on self-discovery. I’m learning to be comfortable in my own company, which has proven to be quite an intense experience. Living alone and not driving means I spend many hours at home, often engaging only with myself. While I talk to myself quite a bit and sometimes find my own company exhausting, I know this solitude is a crucial part of my healing.

The Challenge of Honesty

Occasionally, I receive invitations for dates, but honesty about my situation feels daunting. How do I explain my current lifestyle? “Sorry, I can’t meet you because I don’t drive. Oh, and drinks? That’s off the table since I’m in recovery. I’m currently unemployed and rely on state assistance. My life now consists of outpatient programs and writing a memoir about my journey.”

It’s tempting to revert back to my old ways of storytelling to make myself seem more appealing. I could concoct a narrative about my car being in the shop or wear my old attorney suits to feign a busy work life. But I’ve committed to living authentically, and the thought of deceiving anyone just doesn’t sit right with me.

Embracing Solitude

Taking a break from dating might just enrich other aspects of my life. After all, who would want to be with me in this phase? A partner would either need to be incredibly understanding or just as complicated as I am. Recently, an old colleague reached out, thinking a few uniform selfies would be charming—not quite my style!

Yet, it’s essential to acknowledge my human needs. Since leaving the hospital, I’ve been grateful for various forms of support, from rental assistance to food stamps. While I appreciate these resources, I can’t help but think that a little self-pleasure device would also be a beneficial addition to my recovery toolkit. Just being honest here!

Finding Joy in Solitude

This morning, while preparing for my outpatient program, I noticed how much healthier I’m starting to look, which felt great. For the first time in a long while, I felt happy to see my reflection. It signifies the beginning of a better relationship with myself. I was even inspired to dance around and sing along to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” reminding myself to enjoy my own company without losing my mind.

In this journey, I’m confident that my solitude will eventually lead me to become a better partner when the time is right.

Resources for Further Exploration

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Conclusion

To summarize, life as a single mom in recovery is about self-reflection, healing, and embracing solitude. While it might be challenging, this time allows for personal growth that will ultimately benefit future relationships.