Recently, someone posed an intriguing question: Do I ever feel scrutinized by other moms due to my quirky nature? It’s a fair concern, especially for those of us who stand out a bit from the crowd. My answer? Absolutely.
I’ve encountered judgment far more times than I can count. And if any of those judgmental moms are reading this, they’re likely rolling their eyes at my use of “absolutely.” In their world, a respectable mom wouldn’t dare to express herself so freely.
Honestly, I never find myself worrying about what the neighbors think. Why? Because I simply don’t care. Yes, I just said “don’t care.” It perfectly encapsulates my feelings about the opinions of those who choose to judge.
Was I always this way? Not at all. Like many, I went through phases where fitting in felt essential. I attended a small private school where everyone felt like family, and I could be my true self. But that changed when I transitioned to public school in sixth grade. Suddenly, I felt immense pressure to conform—to dress, talk, and act like everyone else.
That desire lasted about a day. When my mom insisted on a perm that was supposedly the trend, I quickly discovered that blending in was not in the cards for me. At a towering height compared to my peers, I stood out like a sore thumb.
So, what’s the choice? You can either pretend to be someone you’re not, or you can throw your hands in the air and embrace your uniqueness. Eventually, I found others who also embraced their individuality, and those became my people. From that point on, I committed to being unapologetically myself—my quirky self, to be exact.
Fast forward to when I became a mom. Oh boy, did my perspective shift. The moment I welcomed my son into the world, my obsession with being the “perfect” mom took a toll on me. It thrust me back into that insecure mindset where I yearned for acceptance from other young mothers. I joined Mommy and Me classes, attempted to mirror the styles and choices of other moms, and strived to throw birthday parties that would impress the “in” crowd.
You know what? It was exhausting.
One pivotal day, when my son was four, we found ourselves at a McDonald’s play area. After he came to me in tears over a scuffle with another boy, I tried to encourage him to resolve the issue amicably. When that failed, I sought the boy’s mom, only to hear her dismissive “Boys will be boys.” In that moment, I realized I could no longer tolerate that mindset. I told my boy to stand up for himself, and that was the moment I stopped caring about fitting in.
My so-called friends were shocked by my assertiveness, but I had enough. I understood that being a good mom meant raising my son to be true to himself, not just conforming to societal expectations. I let go of the need to be part of the “popular” mom clique.
Once I shed that pressure, I reclaimed my voice and my quirky spirit. I realized that motherhood shouldn’t suppress individuality; rather, it should encourage it. My son deserves to learn the value of authenticity over conformity.
Life is too short to blend in. There will always be people who appreciate you for who you are, and those who don’t matter anyway. It’s crucial to be proud of who you truly are, as you’re the person you’ll spend your entire life with. Looking in the mirror should bring joy, not discomfort.
If you’re navigating your own journey through motherhood, remember that being authentic is what truly counts. You’ll find your community—the ones who love you for you.
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In summary, embracing your unique identity as a mom is liberating. It not only enhances your life but also sets a powerful example for your children.