Parenting
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: June 16, 2015
I have a hazy recollection of pregnancy—those fleeting moments of anticipation, the births, and the tiny bundles of joy who seemed to take up all the air in the room. I vaguely remember the time BUA—Before Under Armour—when my living room wasn’t a chaotic whirlwind of sports equipment and discarded socks.
And now, I sit at the table with these creatures—these boys—who have somehow transformed from my sweet little toddlers. All I can think is, “What on earth is going on?” I’m not reminiscing about the sweet memories or lamenting how quickly time passes; I’m simply baffled by the whirlwind of energy and chaos unfolding around me.
Somewhere along the line, my babies evolved into boys, and let me tell you, boys are a force of nature. They are wild and all-consuming, and on some days it feels like they’ll devour everything in their path. Seriously, what is happening here?
I glance at my husband, towering in the doorway at 6’2”, and in a moment of panic, I blurt out, “We’re going to need a bigger house.” I don’t need a crystal ball to predict my future. I see myself surrounded by these growing boys, their smells mingling with the sounds of their relentless energy. The wrestling, the punching, and the general mayhem seem to be inevitable.
Who are these boys, anyway? They are sharper than I ever was at their age, recalling sports stats and video game lingo with uncanny precision. Meanwhile, my brain feels like Swiss cheese! They run faster, throw harder, and have reflexes that leave me in the dust. I’m still working on catching the ball.
Their conversations feel like an alien language, a mix of Minecraft talk and quotes from their favorite shows that leave me completely out of the loop. They’ve mastered the art of negotiation, trying to argue their way out of everything, turning our household into a courtroom drama. I often find myself feeling like the defendant, left exposed and at a loss.
They can devour food at an astonishing rate, rarely opting for the kids’ menu, and they inhale cheeseburgers before I can even ask if they want fries. Grocery shopping has become a full-time job. They take longer showers than I do, and even though they’re perpetually coated in dirt and sweat, they staunchly deny needing a wash. When they finally do step into the shower, it’s a battle to get them out of there!
Their shoes now come from the men’s section and cost more than anything I’ve purchased in years. They take up over 85% of our closet space! I’ve resorted to buying more flip-flops from Old Navy just to maintain some semblance of order.
When they were younger, I thought they had taken over my life with their endless demands and routines. But now, as they transition into full-fledged boys, I naively believed things would become less physically demanding. Instead, they seem to require even more resources than before, completely shattering any illusion of control I thought I had. It’s a full-on boy invasion!
All I can say is, what on earth?
If you’re interested in more about the journey of parenting, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination and learn about home insemination kits to navigate this beautiful chaos. Also, feel free to explore this other blog post for more insights!
Summary
The journey from toddlerhood to boyhood can be an overwhelming experience for parents. As they grow, boys become more physically demanding and full of energy, transforming the household into a lively chaos that leaves parents both bewildered and entertained.