What You Don’t Expect When You Become a Dad

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When it comes to fatherhood, there are plenty of things you hear about, yet so many aspects remain unspoken. Let me share a little insight into this unique journey.

What People Often Tell You

First off, here’s a rundown of what people often tell you about welcoming a baby into your life:

  • The experience can be overwhelming; expect to be covered in baby powder while dodging surprise pee showers.
  • Your priorities will shift dramatically. Say goodbye to your social life, your sports leagues, and any movie that doesn’t feature animated characters (unless it’s something like Titanic, right?).
  • Get ready to take a backseat; your needs will likely take a back burner.
  • You might envision yourself as the “cool dad,” enjoying playdates at the park or getting your nails painted with your daughter. However, it’s worth noting that those moments often come with their share of chaos.
  • And yes, the frequency of intimate moments may drastically decline.

While there’s a grain of truth to these statements, it’s essential to recognize that much of it is exaggerated. Yes, you may feel overwhelmed at first, but soon enough, you’ll find your rhythm. Your priorities will change, but if you plan wisely, you can still carve out time for friends, sports leagues, or even catch the latest episode of your favorite show. Your needs do matter, but patience is key. The desire to be a “cool dad” will take a backseat to simply wanting your child to be happy, and you’ll come to realize that those Instagram-perfect dad moments often come right before a tantrum.

A Profound Understanding of Fatherhood

Now, here’s what I’ve recently come to understand about becoming a father—something that profoundly shapes your experience and isn’t often discussed. It’s important to clarify that not being a dad doesn’t diminish your worth as a man; that notion is outdated. Parenthood is not a prerequisite for a fulfilling life.

Let me share my story. My twin daughters were born in April, making me the proud father of three kids under two. Originally, the girls were due to arrive in June, which meant we spent six long weeks in the NICU as they gained strength. Finally, Hannah came home, followed by Quinn a week later. It was a moment of relief to have all three under one roof.

However, just days later, we noticed Quinn looking unusually pale and sluggish. A couple of hours later, we found ourselves in the emergency room, where she required CPR after stopping breathing. Within hours, she was intubated and whisked away by helicopter to a specialized children’s hospital. The diagnosis? Pneumonia and a cold—a deadly combination for a tiny baby, and one that can strike without warning. Thankfully, Hannah was fine.

As we sat by Quinn’s bedside, watching her fragile form surrounded by tubes and monitors, I learned firsthand what being a dad truly means. It’s the moment you see a tear roll down your baby’s cheek during a procedure, or when you hear her silent cries muffled by the tube. In those harrowing moments, you realize being a dad is so much more than a title or a Facebook status. It’s a profound sense of purpose that is unlike anything you’ve experienced before.

Fatherhood becomes vital to your very essence because another life completely depends on you. You’ll find that the sacrifices you once dreaded are trivial compared to the joy of nurturing your child. This realization doesn’t require a life-threatening scenario—it could simply be the moment your child smiles at you for the first time or reaches out for your hand when scared. Those moments are what make this journey worthwhile.

Embrace Your Role as a Dad

With Father’s Day approaching, take a moment to appreciate your role as a dad. It’s an incredible journey that fills your life with meaning and joy. And yes, after her ordeal, Quinn is back home with her sisters, and we are all together again—what a wonderful gift for Father’s Day!

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In summary, the journey of fatherhood is filled with challenges and triumphs that go beyond the surface. Embrace the profound purpose it brings, and cherish the moments that truly define what it means to be a dad.