For those unfamiliar with the heartland, here are 14 truths that resonate with Midwestern kids:
- Cow Tipping is Overrated. Let’s set the record straight: while the myth of cow tipping exists, it’s not the frequent pastime many outsiders believe it to be. Sure, we all have a friend who claims to have tipped cows—mine was named Todd—but it’s mostly just a fun story we share.
- Burn Barrels are Essential. In the Midwest, especially in hilly regions, knowing how to start a burn barrel fire is practically a rite of passage. You can bet we’re the ones saying, “Step back or you’ll get burned!” while also insisting that a little butter will fix any minor mishap.
- Catholic Church Festivals are the Best Events. There’s nothing quite like the thrill of a local church festival. The sweet corn, generously slathered in butter, and the sturdy rides are just the beginning. We’re in it for the cakewalks that promise homemade desserts—no premade items allowed!
- Driving in Snow is a Skill. If you see someone stuck on the side of the road during winter, they’re likely new to the area. We know how to navigate the snow and ice with confidence.
- Cornhole is a Mixed Bag. It’s true that cornhole is a popular game, but not every Midwesterner is a fan. We’ve all given it a shot, even if we sometimes find tossing bags at a board a bit tedious.
- High School Matters. When meeting new people, the conversation will inevitably turn to high school within minutes. Forget college; we want to know where you went to high school.
- Weather Commentary is Standard. You’ll hear someone say, “Don’t like the weather? Just wait five minutes!” They’re the same folks who will remind you of last winter’s chill in the midst of a summer heatwave.
- Euchre is Serious Business. Whether it’s a friendly game or a tournament, euchre draws us in. Discussions about rules are essential, and we can make a game happen with just a deck of cards and a few friends.
- Tractor Pulls are Surprisingly Enjoyable. We might poke fun at them, but if there’s a tractor pull nearby, chances are we’ll be there to watch the excitement.
- Feeding Kids is a Must. If a child walks into our home, we’ll offer food at least three times. We don’t hesitate to give advice to our kids’ friends either; it’s all part of being neighborly.
- Jell-O Molds are a Tradition. Once Midwestern women hit their fifties, it seems like they feel the need to encapsulate food in gelatin, just like generations before them.
- We Have Our Own Beaches and Skiing Spots. While we might lack oceans and towering mountains, we still know how to enjoy our local beaches and have a good time skiing.
- We’re Friendly and Love Pop. In places like Cincinnati, you can suggest a three-way without anyone batting an eye.
- We Sometimes Move Away but Always Return. Even if we find a new home on the coast, there’s a special feeling of belonging when we’re back in the Midwest.
In summary, growing up in the Midwest comes with its own set of unique experiences and traditions. From the quirks of cow tipping to the heartwarming traditions of food and community, Midwestern kids carry a distinct identity that stays with them, no matter where life takes them. For those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Healthline, or explore more about the process and kits available at Cryobaby. And if you’re curious about other topics, visit our blog for more insights!