“Are you set?” he inquires.
“Um, yeah. I think so,” I reply, shifting the car into drive and cautiously lifting my foot off the brake.
“Give it a little gas,” he instructs. I do, and the car jolts forward like an overzealous toddler taking its first steps. I quickly slam on the brakes, and we both get jerked back in our seats, our seat belts tightening.
“First rule,” my dad says. “Always buckle up. Now, let’s try that again.”
Growing up in Kansas City during the late ’80s, I was eager to get my full driver’s license at 16. A few months before my birthday, my dad and I started a series of weekend driving lessons, taking over empty parking lots and quiet streets. As an enthusiastic teenager, I thought a couple of quick lessons would be sufficient. However, I quickly realized there was much more to learn. Here’s what my dad taught me about driving and life:
1. Keep Your Hands at 10 and 2
In the beginning, I would have my hands all over the steering wheel, which drove my dad crazy. He firmly believed that the safest and most stable position was at 10 and 2, similar to the hands of a clock. Over the years, I’ve found my hands wandering—resting at the bottom during long trips or hanging over the top while stuck in traffic. Occasionally, it’s just one hand on the wheel while I pass a snack to one of my kids in the backseat. However, I feel most secure with my hands at 10 and 2, just like he taught me. Exploring new methods can be exhilarating, but it’s wise to revert to what works best when needed.
2. Don’t Just Depend on Your Mirrors
Mastering the use of the rear- and side-view mirrors took some practice. Once I got comfortable, my dad explained that while mirrors were helpful for observing my surroundings, they were insufficient for lane changes. I had to take my eyes off the road and check over my shoulder to confirm it was safe to move. This idea frightened me. How could I drive without looking ahead? He encouraged me to trust myself, emphasizing that being aware of what’s behind me was just as crucial as what lay ahead for making safe maneuvers.
3. Steer Into the Skid
I learned to drive during the snowy winters of the Midwest. Our narrow, curvy street was often blanketed in snow, and school cancellations were rare. When my dad first told me the best way to handle a skid was to steer into it, I thought he was out of his mind—until I experienced my first skid. Remembering his advice as I glided across the icy road, I turned into the skid and regained control. Facing challenges directly may feel counterintuitive, but it’s often the best way to overcome adversity.
4. Come to a Complete Stop
Kansas City is dotted with four-way stops, each with its own rules about who goes first. If you’re the only vehicle at a stop, the temptation to roll through is strong. However, this is never wise because 1) another driver may be doing the same, leading to a collision, and 2) it could result in a hefty ticket (which I have received). It’s always wise to stop completely, take a moment to assess the situation, and then proceed. Who knows? You might choose to turn right instead of left with the extra time.
5. If You Need a Lift, Just Call Me
My parents were savvy about the happenings at high school parties. Whether I was the one driving or it was a friend, my dad made sure I had a few quarters in my purse for a call if I ever needed a ride. I probably rolled my eyes, thinking I could handle it all alone. But after being stranded one Saturday night, I took him up on his offer. You don’t always have to face everything by yourself when there are people ready to lend a hand.
Reflecting on the life lessons my dad instilled in me while guiding me behind the wheel, I realize now that I didn’t fully grasp them back then. As a parent myself, spending hours in the car, I often hear my dad’s voice reminding me to keep both hands on the wheel (even when a kid is asking for a snack), come to a full stop (even when running late), and remember that the rearview mirror doesn’t always provide the complete picture. My oldest will soon be of driving age, and it’ll be my turn to share these road rules and life insights that I hope will leave a lasting impression.
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Summary:
Driving lessons with my dad provided invaluable insights that transcended the road. From the importance of maintaining control to the value of seeking help, these lessons shaped my understanding of both driving and life. As I prepare to guide my own child through their driving journey, I cherish the wisdom I’ve gained along the way.