I once promised myself that I would prefer to navigate the journey of single motherhood rather than expose my children to a rotating cast of men, especially since their biological father had vanished years ago, leaving behind only flimsy excuses and a trail of disappointment.
After months of being just the three of us, I introduced my two boys to Mark, the first man I felt comfortable allowing into our lives. He embodied the qualities I hoped my sons would embrace as they grew older.
I never actively sought out a father figure for them—after all, you won’t find “Dad-in-a-Box” at the local store. Yet, I considered myself fortunate to have found Mark.
In my quest for love and security, I was determined never to compromise my children’s well-being for a man or the fear of facing loneliness, surrounded by a mountain of romance novels and an imaginary collection of cats. (Pro tip: Avoid becoming the cat lady by simply not adopting any cats.) Ultimately, I discovered one of the good ones.
To All the Stepfathers and Surrogate Dads
To all the stepfathers, surrogate dads, foster fathers, and men stepping up to raise children who are not biologically theirs, thank you. You have no obligation to these kids other than your love for their mother, and yet your impact is felt every day—even when we forget to express our gratitude amidst the chaos of parenting.
Thank you for caring if they sit up straight at the dinner table and for reminding them that school isn’t just a chance to nap.
Thank you for your disdain for wasted food on plates, especially when kids claim they are “full” yet can devour a gallon of ice cream within an hour. You’re tired of repeating “Finish your dinner,” but we truly appreciate that someone else is finally saying it.
Thank you for understanding the antics of small boys who prefer to be naked and loathe showers, displaying little modesty—unless, of course, Mom walks into the bathroom.
Thank you for making Mother’s Day special with flowers, chocolates, and precious moments of peace without little ones clinging to us. Seriously, can we make that a monthly tradition?
Thank you for recognizing the difference between a forced burp and a genuine one, and for sometimes indulging in the fun of showing them how the big boys do it.
Thank you for upholding our rules and for establishing consequences for their misbehavior. Your stricter approach is what they need, even when I, as their sometimes doting mom, may not always agree.
Thank you for encouraging us to ease up a bit and grant them some freedom, even when fear grips us—we are their mothers, after all, and the world can be uncertain.
Thank you for caring about their growth into strong individuals who understand right from wrong. Your lessons, even when delivered in the midst of a playful wrestling match, resonate more than you might realize.
Thank you for allowing the more reserved child the time he needs to warm up to you; he really does cherish you.
Thank you for the tiny kisses you place on their heads when they think you’re not looking.
Thank you for welcoming their hugs, no matter how tight or frequent they may be.
Thank you for the laughter, the silly voices, and the imaginative stories that only a dad can provide.
Thank you for reading bedtime stories, even when your voice quivers with the newness of the experience.
Thank you for being a better father figure to them than their biological dad.
While they may not yet call you “Dad,” you already embody that role—complete with dad jokes, puns, and that unmistakable dad bod (which, let’s be honest, you’ve got, regardless of what you think).
My boys are blissfully unaware of how lucky they are to have their “Mr. Mark,” who bravely chose to join our family despite the echoes of his past. They don’t know the history that made him vow never to raise another man’s child, yet he saw potential in all of us and took a courageous leap into the unknown with a woman who promised never to compromise her kids’ well-being. I love and appreciate him more than he’ll ever know—even when I wish he and the boys would ease up on the fart jokes.
Thank you, and Happy Father’s Day!
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Summary
This heartfelt tribute expresses gratitude to stepfathers and other men who take on the responsibility of raising children who are not biologically theirs. It highlights the importance of their contributions, from establishing rules to providing unconditional love and support. The piece acknowledges the unique challenges of single motherhood while celebrating the positive impact of these men on families.