Last December, I found myself just trying to navigate the holiday season without falling apart (spoiler alert: I didn’t succeed). It had been nearly a year since my ex-partner moved out, and our separation had been over a year prior. I felt trapped, as certain memories continually pulled me back, despite my desire to move on.
One evening, while watching the tree sparkle in New York City from my living room, I made a spontaneous decision. I booked a trip for my kids and me — something I had hesitated to do, fearing it would remind us of the family we once were.
In that moment, I allowed impulse to take over, and I didn’t second-guess myself. For too long, the idea of traveling alone with the kids without my ex was daunting. I worried about how difficult it might be for all of us. I was anxious about the reminders of past family vacations, of shared experiences that now felt distant.
This time, I would be solely responsible for everything—driving, planning, packing. I’d be the one handling the gas, mapping out our route, and finding activities to fill our days. It was all on me.
Despite the fears that had held me back since our separation, I picked up my phone and began searching for destinations. Surprisingly, the fear pushed me to act rather than retreat. Within minutes, I had secured a weekend at a resort and excitedly informed my children that we were heading to an indoor water park.
I wasn’t entirely convinced it would be as fun as our previous trips, but I understood that if I wanted us to move forward, I needed to forge new traditions. And what better time to embrace this than during a season that already felt strange? If I could manage Christmas, surely I could handle this getaway.
Some might think that embarking on a solo trip with your kids post-divorce is insignificant, but for me, it felt monumental. It served as a stark reminder of how drastically our lives had changed. I worried I wouldn’t measure up to the fun their father brought to our adventures.
However, I chose to release those limiting thoughts. This journey was about us, and that was more than enough. Our weekend was filled with meaning and intention. It wasn’t packed with non-stop excitement, but during our second night, we opted for room service and relaxation. It dawned on me that throughout the entire weekend, I never once compared this trip to others. I was fully present.
Not once did I doubt my ability to be as much fun as their father. I didn’t perceive the weekend as a burden or overly challenging. Everything flowed naturally, and it was just what we needed.
As I glanced at my children, who seemed genuinely happy, I felt a sense of wholeness wash over me. Yes, nostalgia crept in, reminding me of the family we used to be, but it wasn’t painful. In that moment, I realized I didn’t need to overanalyze or allow guilt to overshadow the strength I had gained. It felt refreshing—like a new beginning.
I didn’t engage in the mental battles I had become accustomed to over the past 18 months since our split. Instead, I simply closed my eyes, content in the knowledge that my kids were peacefully asleep. Then, my eldest son unexpectedly said, “Mom, I didn’t expect to have this much fun this weekend.” It was a reassuring moment, reminding me that we were going to be just fine.
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Summary
After a divorce, taking a trip with your children can be a transformative experience. Emily Carter shares her journey of overcoming fears and creating new memories, highlighting the importance of moving forward while cherishing the present. The getaway serves as a reminder that family dynamics may change, but joy and connection can still thrive.