When your father called to share the news that your brother, Max, had Down syndrome, time seemed to freeze. I dropped the phone and sank to the floor, repeating, “Oh no, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.” My heart instantly ached for you, my sweet girl.
For 16 beautiful months, you were my everything. I genuinely savored our time together—well, maybe not all those sleepless teething nights! Every laugh, peek-a-boo game, and storybook moment was a treasure. But when I learned about Max’s diagnosis, my mind spiraled into worry about the future. Instead of celebrating your milestones, I found myself anxious about middle school: What if kids teased you for having a brother who was different? What if I became so overwhelmed with Max’s needs that I overlooked yours? I fixated on what seemed unfair to you, neglecting to recognize the incredible gifts Max’s diagnosis could bring into your life.
I didn’t realize that a staggering 97% of kids with a sibling who has Down syndrome feel pride for their brother or sister, and 88% say it makes them better people. This is my wish for you, Emma.
I hope you see Max striving to achieve what comes easily to you, and through that, develop humility. When you’re tempted to judge others based on appearances, I hope you think of Max and how he is often perceived. And when life’s minor inconveniences arise, I encourage you to focus on gratitude for your many blessings.
I envision the two of you teaching one another to embrace life, finding joy in the little things, and nurturing love for one another. Growing up with a brother like Max might mean you mature faster than your peers, but I believe that can be a wonderful advantage. You’ll learn to rise above the superficial concerns that often accompany youth. Because of Max, I hope you live life courageously and appreciate the world’s vastness beyond your school hallways.
So, I’m not sorry that Max has Down syndrome. I no longer see it as unfair; rather, I view it as a unique advantage for you. You hold the key to what truly matters in life: loving others, all others. As Galatians 5:6 beautifully states, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
With all my love,
Mom
P.S. Max is incredibly fortunate to have you as his sister. While you will undoubtedly learn from him, he will also gain so much from you. You possess the kindness of your father and the spark of my spirit. I know you will be both his teacher and his protector, and he is lucky to have you.
For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, you might enjoy this post on home insemination. And if you’re interested in learning more about the journey of parenthood, check out Make A Mom for valuable resources. Another great source of information can be found at Facts About Fertility, which offers excellent articles on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, Emma, your journey alongside Max will shape your character in beautiful ways. Embrace the lessons and love that come with it.