It’s often said that friendships have their own seasons, and the phase after welcoming kids can be particularly intricate. As our families grow, our little ones consume much of our time and energy. The rare moments we find to ourselves are typically spent nurturing our romantic relationships or indulging in some much-needed self-care.
Making time for friends can feel like a daunting task amidst all our responsibilities. Yet, the truth is that once children enter the picture, friendships become even more vital. We all need that friend we can text during those sleepless nights when we’re feeling overwhelmed. We deserve a circle of friends who uplift us, offer encouragement, and bring us laughter.
Essential Qualities for Enduring Friendships
To ensure your friendships endure, even as you navigate parenthood, consider these essential qualities:
- Thoughtfulness
A good friend will visit after your baby arrives, but a great friend shows up with meals in a container you don’t need to return, walks your dog, and asks when they can babysit. It’s all about showing you care. - Good Listening Skills
Everyone needs a sounding board. Friends should genuinely listen and engage, not just wait for their turn to speak. Even if you’re recounting your birth story for the umpteenth time, a true friend will be all ears. - Understanding
Great friends know how chaotic parenting can be. They’re okay with communicating via texts or late-night emails and won’t fault you for having to cancel plans. They understand that the bond remains strong, even if you don’t see each other all the time. - Dependability
While it’s true that friends don’t need to be together constantly, reliable friends step up when you need them the most. Life can throw challenges our way, and knowing your friends have your back can make all the difference. - Helpfulness
I remember a time when my two friends, Lisa and Mark, came over to look after my kids while I took a much-needed solo trip to the movies. When I returned, not only were the kids happy, but my friends had also tidied my house! I tried to pay them, but they just wanted to help, which showed the depth of our friendship. - Open-Mindedness
With friends, you should feel free to share anything without fear of judgment. Whether it’s confessing to hiding in the pantry with a bottle of wine for a moment of peace, an understanding friend will support you and maybe even bring you more wine. - Honesty
True friends tell it like it is, but they do so with kindness. They keep it real, fostering mutual respect and authenticity in your friendship. - Trustworthiness
This is especially crucial for those of us with kids. A lack of trust can spell doom for any friendship, so it’s essential to have faith in each other. - Fun!
Life is challenging enough, and friendships should bring joy and laughter. Sure, there will be moments for tears, but overall, friendships thrive on shared joy and, sometimes, uncontrollable laughter—especially after kids, where the potential for giggles (and a few accidents) is higher than ever.
Friends are our anchors during tough times, offering support and celebrating our victories. They are the lifelines every parent needs, providing lasting companionship regardless of how many children you have.
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In summary, the landscape of friendship shifts dramatically after kids, but the core qualities of thoughtfulness, understanding, and trust are what keep these bonds strong and fulfilling. Great friends are essential for every parent, providing laughter, support, and a sense of community.