Hey there, 18-year-old Me,
Today, I spotted a young woman at the gym who instantly made me think of you. She strutted into the class with her mom, looking self-satisfied as she eyed the older ladies preparing for their workouts. I couldn’t help but notice her toned legs stretching at the front, clearly showing off her fitness level compared to what she deemed the “less fit” crowd. She confidently picked up the heaviest dumbbells in the room.
I recognized you right away, Teenage Me, because you embody that same attitude. You believe that appearance is the sole measure of fitness and view fuller figures as somehow inferior. If you could see me now, you’d probably gasp at the size of my thighs and insist on covering my arms with long sleeves. A glance in the mirror would have you setting aside your lunch for a strict low-calorie diet.
But what you don’t understand yet is the strength that lies beneath my skin. Someday you’ll learn, and I wish I could share this with you.
My thighs, now dimpled and thicker than yours, can carry an 8-year-old who has dozed off during movie time up a flight of stairs.
My arms, though they may jiggle, are capable of carrying a squirming toddler while managing four grocery bags through a parking lot.
My abs, hidden beneath a soft layer of skin, have done more in a day than you could imagine, far surpassing those futile sit-ups you pride yourself on.
Sure, you can zip around the track faster than I can, but when our child tumbles off a swing, watch who gets to them first across the playground.
You’re quick and never out of breath? That’s wonderful, but I’m living life like a marathon, and I’m managing just fine.
My daily routine involves sprinting up and down stairs to find lost items, hauling a wagon filled with kids and supplies to the pool, wrestling multiple loads of laundry, lifting children to reach the monkey bars, and dragging trash cans to the curb, among countless other tasks.
Remember how Mom helped you prepare for college, and Dad carried your heavy boxes into your dorm? Well, now we do it all ourselves because there’s no time to wait for assistance.
When you’re carrying the weight of a family, those 10-pound dumbbells feel like feathers.
Most days, I’m doing this on just five hours of sleep after being woken by a child’s nightmare or fever. Moms don’t get to sleep in the next day after pulling an all-nighter. The physical endurance required to be a parent pales in comparison to the mental strength needed to navigate parenting.
You might excel at running an obstacle course, but can you juggle a grocery trip, drop one kid off at soccer, take another to the doctor, pack for a road trip, load the car, care for the dog, and tend to the garden—all while answering emails and on a conference call? Probably a bit more complexity than you’re used to, since you often struggle to get to class dressed.
You can race, but can you sustain? You may have the muscles, but you still lack the true strength. Moms keep pushing through exhaustion, headaches, and mental fatigue. You’ve changed your major three times in one semester, but I don’t have the luxury of dropping this class—ever. This is called resilience, Mini Me, and it’s what remains when pretense fades away. Unfortunately, it will take you years to fully grasp this lesson.
So, continue to run your race with your slender legs and showcase your flat abs in that tiny bikini. Snap plenty of photographs because those swimsuit contests may not last forever. Keep training and evolving, because one day you will have children, and then you’ll truly understand what it means to be strong—inside and out. You may wear larger sizes and carry extra weight, and your skin may not be as smooth and firm as it is today, but you’ll finally be in the best shape of your real life.
XOXO,
The Fabulous Older You
This article was originally published on July 24, 2015.
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination: March of Dimes. You can also find valuable information on the topic at Make a Mom and familiarize yourself with the terms and conditions related to our other blogs.
Summary:
In a heartfelt letter to her younger self, the author reflects on the evolution of strength and fitness beyond mere physical appearance. She emphasizes that true strength comes from the challenges of parenthood—endurance, resilience, and mental fortitude. As she addresses her teenage self, she encourages a deeper understanding of what it means to be truly fit, suggesting that the best shape of one’s life is found in the journey of motherhood.