Finding out that you’re expecting can bring a whirlwind of feelings: joy, anxiety, and for mothers who have endured a previous loss, it can be particularly daunting. Being pregnant after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death often means navigating a landscape filled with uncertainty and fear. Instead of eagerly anticipating that first ultrasound, many mothers might feel a sense of dread, recalling moments when they received heartbreaking news.
Supporting a mother who is pregnant again after a loss requires awareness of her unique emotional state. People often offer well-meaning advice, yet not all words provide comfort. Below are seven phrases that should be avoided when speaking to a mom who is pregnant after a loss, along with suggestions for what to say instead.
1. What are you doing differently this time?
Moms often internalize blame for their past loss, leading to immense guilt. This question, whether intended or not, can reinforce that blame. Instead, ask how you can support her during this pregnancy. Let her know you’re there to listen to her concerns and that you’re rooting for her.
2. Everything will be fine.
For those who have faced pregnancy loss, the innocence of believing everything will be okay is shattered. Assure her that if the stress becomes overwhelming, there are resources available, and remind her that you’re on her side.
3. You’re overthinking this.
After a loss, it’s natural for mothers to be consumed by “what ifs.” Instead of dismissing her worries, validate her feelings. Offer to check in regularly and remind her that it’s okay to feel anxious during this time.
4. You’ve made it past the risky stage!
While it’s true that the risk of miscarriage decreases after the first trimester, the anxiety often lingers. Rather than suggesting that she’s in the clear, be a steady presence through her entire pregnancy journey.
5. You must be so thrilled!
Pregnancy after a loss is often a complex mix of emotions. While she may feel excitement, fear can overshadow it. Instead of making assumptions, create a safe space for her to share her feelings, whether joyful or anxious.
6. You’re going to be a mom!
She is already a mother. She has nurtured her previous child in her heart and body. Instead of this phrase, acknowledge her strength and remind her that she’s doing an incredible job navigating this pregnancy.
7. This baby is meant to be.
This phrase can be deeply painful for many. It implies a fate that nobody can determine. Instead, express your love and support for her family, assuring her that you are there for her through every twist and turn.
It’s common to worry about saying the wrong thing, but offering support is always better than remaining silent. If you’re unsure of what to say, sometimes just being there to listen can make all the difference. For further insights and guidance, you can check out this informative post on our site here.
In summary, providing support to a mother who is pregnant after a loss requires sensitivity and understanding. By avoiding certain phrases and instead offering compassion and a listening ear, you can help her navigate this challenging experience. For those seeking more resources, consider visiting Mount Sinai for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination or explore Make A Mom for expert insights on home insemination.