Life can be hectic—I totally understand. Between managing our wild kids and trying to keep our homes somewhat intact, it feels like we’re juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle. But that doesn’t justify being discourteous. If you ignore an invitation, yes, you’re acting like a jerk. I’m not referring to those random Facebook invites for “21 Day Body Transformations” that everyone pretends to care about. I mean real-life events where actual people gather—think weddings, birthday celebrations, or those baby showers that everyone dreads.
When you’re invited, the hosts are counting on your response to sort out crucial details like seating arrangements, how much cake to order, or even how many party hats to have on hand. Emily Post, the ultimate etiquette guru, insists that “Anyone receiving an invitation with an RSVP is obligated to respond…” That’s right, obligated.
Your response can be simple—“Yes,” “No,” or, if you’re using Evite, even the cringe-worthy “Maybe.” But whatever you choose, you should reply. Ideally, do it within a day or two of getting the invite. If you don’t, you might just fall into one of these four categories of non-RSVPers that I secretly wish would just vanish:
1. The Overwhelmed Decision-Maker
This person is so buried under responsibilities that the idea of making one more choice sends her into a panic. She keeps telling herself she’ll respond when life calms down, but by the time she thinks of it, she’s too frazzled to even remember the invitation. She might end up surprising everyone by just showing up—unannounced.
2. The Opportunity Seeker
This individual is hesitant to commit because she’s waiting for a potentially better option to come along. Whether it’s a trendy wine-tasting event at her neighbor’s or a spontaneous get-together, she’ll hold off until the last minute. And yes, she might just bring along extra uninvited friends because why not?
3. The Master of Disappearing Acts
You see this person regularly, yet ever since you sent the invitation, she’s become a ghost. At school drop-off, one moment she’s there, and the next, she’s vanished. Why? Because she’s terrified of making plans when she might just want a night in with her favorite Netflix series. She doesn’t have a good excuse and avoids you like the plague.
4. The Chronically Disorganized
This person is all over the place. The invitation could be lost in a sea of old PTA paperwork, or she may have accidentally deleted it from her inbox. She has no idea how to recover it and can’t find the host’s contact info either. It’s a total mess.
When you don’t RSVP, it leaves your hosts in the dark. Did you receive the invite? Did your kid turn it into a paper airplane? Or are you just too busy to respond? No one wants to guess if you’re facing a meltdown at home or just ghosting the whole event. And when planning a party, uncertainty is the last thing anyone needs.
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In summary, not responding to invitations is not just inconsiderate; it can lead to confusion and extra stress for your hosts. It’s essential to acknowledge invites promptly, whether you can attend or not.