- Toddler’s socks feel off.
- Dinner is suddenly appealing. The same one that was rejected earlier because it was “too weird” (plain pasta with butter).
- Toddler insists on changing pajamas due to her commitment to the religion of Being a Nuisance, where she is a dedicated follower.
- The seams of toddler’s socks are inverted. This is a crisis! How could you allow this? Toddler needs emotional support and a chat.
- A cup of water is required, but it must be sipped 25 times. It needs to be a red cup from downstairs. No, not that one; it’s actually at Target in the cup aisle.
- The pillow is way too hot.
- The pillow feels strangely cold. It’s downright eerie. Toddler demands an explanation for the chilly pillow situation.
- Toddler is frightened.
- Toddler wants to brush their teeth again, but this time with their finger and frosting instead of toothpaste.
- Toddler has a profound inquiry about the nature of God.
- Toddler is curious about where babies come from.
- Toddler is giggling uncontrollably because it’s just so bizarre.
- Toddler wishes for you to join them in their tiny bed. Please don’t fidget; it’s disruptive.
- One more story is requested, preferably one featuring a dog, a pony, a cherry tree, an apple pie, a rainforest, 14 marbles, chicken wings, and success, all set in the future.
- Toddler desires another kiss.
- Toddler is asking for one more hug.
- Toddler requires you to stand still in the doorway like a statue guarding the realm.
- Toddler wants to see their reflection in the mirror to check for any changes in the last few minutes.
- Toddler needs to call Grandma. What they discuss is a secret between them.
- Toddler would like a Cobb Salad, but hold the lettuce, chicken, cheese, tomatoes, eggs, dressing, onion, and avocado. A plate of bacon will suffice.
- Toddler’s nose feels odd—high up inside. Grab a flashlight for inspection, but don’t touch it; it hurts.
- Toddler insists on a Band-Aid for a boo-boo from six months ago. It’s healed on the outside but needs adhesive for internal injuries.
- Toddler’s legs are feeling dry. Apply lotion, please. Warm it up first; we’re not savages.
- Toddler requires a back rub. Not for a short time—45 minutes to 5 hours will do. You can stop when the sun rises and birds start chirping.
- Toddler wants to brainstorm ideas for their upcoming birthday party.
- Toddler’s ear is missing. Just kidding—it’s right there.
- Toddler’s blanket feels wrong tonight, even though it’s the same one used every night. Time for an online shopping spree for new blankets. Until then, you’ll serve as their blanket.
- Toddler wants to watch TV.
- Toddler needs to air grievances about why they now dislike their best friend. Agree with everything to avoid being on the hate list.
- Toddler needs to contact Santa.
- Toddler is curious about your age. Be prepared to show two forms of ID as proof.
- Toddler insists on sleeping in your bed.
- Toddler wants four convincing reasons why they can’t sleep with you.
- Toddler needs a few minutes to cry for no apparent reason.
- Toddler needs to blow their nose.
- Toddler just remembered dessert was never served.
- Toddler is questioning why you are withholding dessert.
- Toddler needs to thrash around in bed to wake up any other sleeping children.
- Toddler believes the bed is in disarray and requests a remake.
- Toddler needs a fresh Pull-Up to burn through your overpriced diaper stockpile.
- The Pull-Up has the wrong design—toddler feels alarmed and needs reassurance that it won’t come to life in the night.
- Toddler needs to change pajamas to match the frightening Pull-Up design. Maybe a too-small Halloween costume?
- Toddler just remembered their beloved stuffed animal is in the car, wedged under the seat, covered in crumbs and the scent of stale food.
- Toddler requires tucking in again.
- Toddler heard a mysterious sound.
- Toddler needs you to secure the perimeter.
- Toddler needs another hug and kiss since the previous ones have expired.
- Toddler wants a snack. Something simple like fondue, skirt steak, or a fish taco.
- Toddler is wondering if Subway is open right now.
- Toddler has to poop.
It’s clear that parenting can be quite the adventure, especially when your little one has their own unique set of demands in the middle of the night. If you’re looking for more supportive resources on navigating these toddler years, consider checking out this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination or explore Home Insemination Kit for more insights into family planning. Also, Make a Mom is a great authority on related topics.
Summary
Parenting a toddler can be a whirlwind of unexpected requests and late-night awakenings. Understanding their quirky reasons for being awake can help you navigate the chaos with a smile.