As we start to introduce chores to my 5-year-old son, his responsibilities currently include putting away his toys at the end of the day and “assisting” with laundry and vacuuming. (Admittedly, his vacuuming is more about discovering what items the hose can pick up—like an ace of hearts—which also doubles as a fun engineering experiment.)
We’ve also begun the practice of giving him an allowance: $1 for spending, $1 for saving, and $1 for charity, using the jar system advocated by financial expert Ron Lieber in his book, The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. Lieber emphasizes that allowance should not be tied to chores because it serves as a tool for teaching kids about money management—budgeting, distinguishing between needs and wants, and saving for future expenses. Just as they don’t “earn” food and shelter, which we provide as part of being caregivers, the same goes for their allowance.
This raises the question of whether children should be able to earn extra money through additional chores. Recently, I stumbled upon a post by Emily Roberts, sparking a discussion among readers about the merits of paying kids for chores, whether basic or extra. There are numerous household tasks that go beyond daily duties—like cleaning gutters, vacuuming the car, or organizing closets—that are essential for a well-functioning home.
Initially, I considered following Roberts’ lead by offering a few bucks for tasks like raking leaves or washing the dog. However, I took a moment to reflect on my experiences with the men I’ve known over the years. While they contributed to household chores, it often fell to women like myself to create the chore lists and manage the overall household tasks. This organization itself is a significant job.
My goal is to teach my boys more than just how to wash their dishes without grumbling. I want them to grow up equipped with essential life skills that include meal planning, dusting blinds, and knowing when to clean the fridge. I don’t want them to rely on their future partners for direction; I want them to be proactive.
Running a household involves countless little tasks, from figuring out how much food to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner to knowing where to buy the right cleaning supplies. These responsibilities are typically managed by a household manager. I want my sons to enter adulthood with a solid foundation in both domestic and financial management.
If I pay them for chores, there’s a chance they might refuse tasks or only select the fun ones—and that’s not how adult life works. Sometimes you have to wrestle a wet dog, and nobody is handing you cash for it. So, while I teach my son how to clean out a vacuum hose—yes, someone did stick an ace of hearts in there—I remain firm in my belief that chores are part of being a responsible member of the family.
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In summary, I believe that teaching my sons the importance of chores without monetary compensation sets them up for a more responsible and capable adulthood. The lessons they learn about managing a household and money will serve them well in their future lives.