As parents prepare their children for college, many will engage in critical discussions with their daughters about the realities of sexual assault on campus, emphasizing self-protection and response strategies in the event of an attack. Given the alarming frequency of sexual violence on college campuses, it is essential for parents to address these issues with their teenage girls. However, Dr. Mark Thompson, a physician specializing in adolescent male health, points out that college also presents significant sexual vulnerability for male students.
In a thought-provoking article for Pacific Standard, Dr. Thompson notes that while male-on-male sexual assault is increasingly recognized, incidents of female-on-male sexual assault often go unnoticed. According to the National Crime Victimization Survey from 2013, 38 percent of reported sexual violence incidents involved men, with women accounting for 46 percent of those assaults.
The underreporting of sexual assaults against males is largely attributed to the pervasive stereotype that “real men” are always eager for sex. Dr. Thompson shares that approximately 3 to 4 percent of young men he encounters report that their first sexual experience occurred before the age of 10. While this is distressing, many of these individuals do not identify these experiences as traumatic. He further highlights cases of slightly older boys, ages 12 to college, who have had to resist unwelcome sexual advances, including waking up to find a girl engaging in sexual acts without their consent.
Dr. Thompson asserts, “Such experiences can be particularly confusing for young men who have internalized the cultural notion that ‘real men’ are always ready for sex.” This societal pressure often leads young men who express hesitation or refusal to be shamed, perpetuating the stigma around male sexual assault.
While our awareness of sexual violence against women has grown significantly, the vulnerability of boys remains largely overlooked. Society often assumes that boys are always interested in sex and are inherently less susceptible to sexual assault due to their physical strength. As a mother of sons, I recognize the importance of instilling in them an understanding of personal boundaries. It’s crucial to teach them that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touching and that they should feel empowered to assert their boundaries.
As I reflect on my sons’ teenage years, I realize I need to expand the conversations I have with them. Discussions about responsible drinking, reading verbal and nonverbal cues from others, and knowing when to call for help are vital. Additionally, I must talk to them about their own sexual boundaries and how to handle unwanted advances, and importantly, how to report any assault they might experience.
Dr. Thompson emphasizes the need for more research to fully understand the prevalence of sexual assault against boys, as well as the importance of educating them about their rights and responsibilities regarding their bodies. The myth that “real men” are always ready for sex must be dismantled to foster a healthier understanding of masculinity.
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In summary, it is essential to recognize that boys, like girls, can be victims of sexual assault, and they deserve to have conversations about their rights and boundaries. By addressing these issues openly, we can create a safer environment for all young people as they navigate their formative years.