As new parents, we often find ourselves craving more of the basics: sleep, uninterrupted showers, meals enjoyed with both hands, and, yes, a bit more sleep. As a new mom myself, I’ve realized something crucial: most new parents, especially moms, don’t need more cliché advice. We’ve all heard the same tired recommendations:
- “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Oh really? If I do that, who’s going to check how many likes my latest exhausted Facebook post has received? Priorities, right?
- “Sleep train or don’t sleep train.” Honestly, it feels as complicated as solving a calculus problem after a night of little sleep. Instead, I’ll just watch for my baby’s sleep cues and follow that timeless advice of sleeping when she sleeps.
- “Don’t worry about the laundry; your baby won’t be small forever.” How many of my dirty socks are YOU willing to wear?
While advice may come from a good place, it often serves the one giving it, not the one receiving it. So, here are some “permissions” for you, new mama, that might be a bit more relevant than what your great-aunt Gertrude had to say about discipline.
1. Cut the Onesie Off.
Picture this: your extraordinary little one has just had a monumental diaper blowout. You consider pulling that onesie over her head or down over her body. One way, poop goes on her face; the other, it lands all over you. Grant yourself permission to simply cut the onesie off. Did it cost $35? Lesson learned—expensive baby clothes are a waste. Cut it off! Was it your favorite? Spoiler alert: it once was, but now it’s a biohazard. Just remember to cut with the blades facing down, obviously.
2. Breastfeed in Public, Even Awkwardly.
If you’re not breastfeeding, feel free to skip ahead. If you are, get ready to show your nipples to random strangers. It’s normal to feel awkward about it. That discomfort might clash with your inner feminist who believes in feeding your baby wherever you are. When someone comments, “You should cover up,” your baby will likely turn to stare at the busybody, amplifying the awkwardness. I once fancifully wished someone would challenge me—only to realize that I’d rather not deal with the discomfort of public breastfeeding. But don’t let embarrassment stop you; embrace those awkward moments. You survived middle school, right? It gets easier from here!
3. Trust Your Instincts.
I’m borrowing this mantra from Oprah: “Doubt means don’t.” In this age of endless information at our fingertips, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Want to know the best source for parenting info? Your intuition. If you can’t hear it amidst the noise, it may be time to unplug. Turn off the internet, ignore calls from your mom, and resist the urge to check parenting forums. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Your child is unique, and so are you. Build a supportive community that aligns with your parenting style. Check out postpartum groups or Facebook communities that lift you up. But if something feels off, trust that instinct and step back. Doubt means don’t.
If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If you find yourself leaning into different parenting choices than your friends, that’s perfectly fine. Trust yourself, mama. And feel free to disregard unwanted advice—even this article.
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In summary, as a new mom, give yourself the freedom to make choices that suit you and your baby, embrace the awkward moments, and trust your instincts as you navigate this beautiful yet challenging journey.