A friend of mine, Sarah, recently shared a delightful date night she had with her husband. They enjoyed cocktails at a rooftop restaurant while taking in a breathtaking sunset. Afterward, they rented bikes for a scenic ride along the river before stopping for dinner at another eatery. “It was such a blast,” she exclaimed. “We haven’t done anything refreshing and exciting like that in years.”
Her experience got me reflecting: How much fun do I actually have with my husband? We often operate like the management team of a small business, each handling our own responsibilities to keep things running smoothly. Yes, the kids are thriving, the rent is paid, and life is generally okay. But the joy we once shared before kids seems to have faded from our relationship. Every moment spent together feels like one less moment with the boys, and the guilt about arranging babysitters looms large. Plus, let’s not forget the costs involved. But the most significant hurdle is the pressure of the ongoing to-do list: flu shots, back-to-school shopping, tax preparation. It’s tough to switch off that mental checklist and just enjoy each other’s company like we used to.
Lately, however, I realize that we must prioritize fun for the health of our relationship — and for our kids’ sake too. When choosing a partner, we look for shared values, intellect, and humor. These form the foundation of a relationship. But the glue that holds it all together is fun. Without it, a marriage can feel more like a cooperative venture than a joyful partnership.
Just like Sarah, I suspect it’s been far too long since my husband and I engaged in anything playful. It’s been ages since we’ve shared uncontrollable laughter or tried something new together. Parenting often leads us to play it safe, as we constantly think about the next meal, the next growth spurt, or the never-ending pile of laundry. But if we don’t take a moment to pause and remember why we fell in love in the first place, we risk becoming mere colleagues in a well-oiled machine. That’s no way to live.
So, here’s one more task to add to my list: Find enjoyable activities to do with my husband. Just kidding! I already know what we can do: Sip cocktails on a restaurant rooftop, ride bikes, and indulge in a nice dinner. Maybe we’ll even end the night with a poker game in Vegas!
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In summary, rekindling the joy in your relationship is essential for both you and your children. Don’t overlook the importance of fun as a cornerstone of your marriage. It not only enriches your bond but also lays a foundation of happiness for your family.