It’s a curious phenomenon: as the years pass, you often grow more at ease with yourself, even when age might suggest otherwise. When you’re young and considered beautiful, anxiety and discontent often reign. One of the true perks of aging is the ability to release certain burdens. —Helen Mirren
Everyone experiences that moment when you catch a glimpse of your reality reflected in someone else’s eyes. It can be quite jarring.
Every week, I join my younger coworkers for bar trivia. They appreciate having me on their team for my knowledge of obscure trivia, from ancient Sanskrit deities to 70s rock bands and even risqué film questions. We indulge in fried pickles and a drink or two, occasionally fabricating answers just for fun. Recently, one of the younger women forgot her wallet, so I covered her tab while playfully teasing her as I handed my card to the waiter.
“It’s alright,” he chimed in, “sometimes my mom has to bail me out, too.”
Yes, he’s alive. And yes, I’m old enough to be her mother—and his.
It wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it’s been gnawing at me ever since. This feeling intensified when I recently shared an article about body image featuring a full-body photo, declaring my age for all to see.
I’m 47. What was I thinking? Now folks will start tacking on “for her age” to any compliment they give me. “She looks great for her age.” “Can you believe she still wears that/ drinks that/takes pictures like that at her age?” I hope I’m still as tech-savvy as she is at that age. Do only pretentious people say “tech-savvy”?
And then comes the dreaded menopause. Isn’t that the phase where you feel like you’re giving up everything? Beauty? Vitality? Sanity? Do you just wither away? A quick Google search reveals a lighthearted list titled “10 Benefits of Menopause.”
- No more periods.
- You’ll be thrilled about that.
- You can ditch feminine hygiene products.
- Yay!
- No risk of pregnancy!
- Yay!
- Seriously, no more periods! That’s a win, right?
- Bye-bye PMS!
- No more periods!
- YAY!
Another website boasted about women in their 50s as “the new face of menopause.” Every featured woman seems to have had some form of cosmetic surgery. That’s totally fine, but please don’t come at me with “50 is the new 30” backed by those trying to hold onto an unrealistic version of eternal youth.
Why not let 50 be the new 50?
I know it won’t be smooth sailing, and I’m positive I’ll have my moments of panic in the coming years. Growing up, I remember seeing the Oil of Olay models confidently declare, “I refuse to grow old gracefully; I intend to fight it every step of the way.” They’re talking about lotion, not scaling Everest. Isn’t it fascinating how they wrap a pseudo-feminist “take charge” spin around a rather hollow concept?
From my perspective, which has evolved significantly since my 30s, we gain so much from prioritizing our health, our happiness, our connections, and our experiences. In contrast, investing a fortune in creams, cosmetics, injections, or surgeries to maintain a facade leads only to disappointment—an unattainable cultural standard of beauty that sets us up for failure the moment we buy into it.
But hey, don’t mind me. I’m just spirited.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this informative post. And if you’re considering taking the next step in your journey, this kit is a great resource. For broader insights into pregnancy and home insemination, click here.
In summary, as we navigate the complexities of aging, it’s essential to embrace our experiences, prioritize our health, and redefine beauty on our own terms, rather than conforming to societal pressures.