August 29, 2015
It’s a fair question, but the answer is a bit tangled. I’ve always had a tendency to hoard—documents, papers, you name it. You never know when you might need a tax form from 1995 or proof of that eye exam from 1997.
The shredding began when my daughter decided to take matters into her own hands. The sound of the shredder was like music! But then, a letter caught my eye. It was addressed to my husband and stated, “Dear Tom, we’re pleased to inform you that your student loan has been settled.” I could picture him at our kitchen table in our first apartment, pen in hand, writing that check.
“Here,” I said to my daughter, handing her the letter before she continued shredding. Vvvrrr. I watched her work her way through the pile, but I couldn’t help but wonder what else was hidden in there.
After a few minutes of shredding, I interrupted her. “Hold on!” I exclaimed. A group of receipts lay scattered before me. One was for copies at the local print shop, another for faxes sent from a pharmacy—who even faxes anymore?
Among the papers, I found a bill from a preschool. Instantly, I was taken back to the days I dropped my daughter off, bending down to embrace her as she prepared to enter her classroom. These days, she’s the one who leans down for a hug.
“Can I get back to shredding now?” my daughter asked, clearly eager to finish her task.
“Soon,” I promised.
Then I stumbled upon a check stub for $303, won from a radio contest for answering a trivia question: “What never stops growing?” The answer? “Your nose.” And here was a pay stub from a trade publication where I worked in my late twenties. My boss had thought I’d hit it off with a certain reporter, and she set up a meeting at a press conference. Two years later, Tom and I were married. Sure, the job came with long hours and low pay, but it also brought me the love of my life.
I noticed a yellowed receipt from the vet for our beloved tiger-striped cat who passed away long ago. Next to it was a receipt for $20 from the SPCA when we adopted a tiny black-and-white kitten.
So many papers cluttering my life. What should I keep? I pondered the idea of what would happen if I were gone. Would anyone care about these documents? Would I want someone else to sift through them, deciding what’s worth keeping?
That thought felt heavy, so I redirected my focus to the present. I reassured myself that if the papers stayed, so would my memories. Each scrap of paper held a moment, just like a photograph can transport me back in time. I wouldn’t dream of getting rid of my pictures, but the papers? They needed to be decluttered.
“Mom’s at it again!” my daughter called out to Tom, eyeing the piles as she waited to earn her $5.
“Alright,” I conceded. “You can have these.” Vvvrrr. Just as she prepared to shred the next paper, I snatched the pile back to my chest, determined to keep them safe for just a little while longer. Maybe next time I feel the urge to declutter, I’ll let them go. But for now, I’ll hold onto these pieces of my past.
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Summary
Jenna reflects on her habit of saving documents and the memories they hold, triggered by her daughter’s shredding session. As she navigates through old papers, she contemplates the significance of her memories and the challenge of decluttering.