It’s likely your friendship blossomed in those carefree days of youth, sharing giggles over crushes, school events, and late-night adventures. You played games like Girl Talk and Ouija, shared your first experiences with everything from sneaking a sip of your parents’ liquor to belting out Salt-N-Pepa’s “Shoop” in the car. Your nightstand proudly displays framed photos of your goofy moments together, along with a card depicting two little girls sharing a sweet bond.
Throughout the years, you’ve navigated life’s ups and downs side by side, creating a rich tapestry of shared experiences: from heartbreaks to career milestones, family dramas to personal victories. But then, life takes a turn—one of you becomes a parent. Suddenly, that once-shared universe feels altered, as your friendship dynamics shift to accommodate the demands of a new little one.
While this transition can seem daunting, it’s essential to nurture and adapt your friendship. Here are five ways childfree besties can maintain their bond with mommy friends.
1. Celebrate the Arrival of the Baby
When your bestie welcomes her little one, make an effort to acknowledge this life-changing moment. A short visit can go a long way, even if babies aren’t your jam. Bring along some treats or a bottle of wine—trust me, these are appreciated gifts! If you’re far away, consider sending a thoughtful gift instead of just a text. Keep the connection alive by showing interest in her child’s milestones, even if you have to feign enthusiasm during those long recitals of their latest achievements. After all, she’s still interested in your life too, even if it’s about your pets—much like those insights into fertility from Make a Mom are valuable for some.
2. Plan Outings Without Kids
Try to carve out time for just the two of you. Whether it’s brunch, a spa day, or coffee, these outings can offer a much-needed break for your mom friend. Conversely, don’t shy away from planning kid-friendly activities occasionally; just ensure they’re in places where the little ones can be entertained, allowing you both to catch up without constant interruptions.
3. Stay Flexible
Life with a child is unpredictable, and plans may change last minute. Don’t take it personally when your bestie has to cancel; she’s juggling a lot more than just her schedule. Whether it’s a sick child or unexpected work demands, understanding and patience will help keep your bond strong. Remember, new moms get a pass for a couple of years—don’t judge them for needing a breather.
4. Embrace Texting
Long phone chats may not be feasible anymore, so rely on texting as your primary mode of communication. It’s a quick and effective way to stay connected without requiring a lengthy commitment of time.
5. Show Empathy
Recognize that her children are her top priority. It’s easy to feel neglected when you’re used to being the focus, but understand that she’s navigating a challenging time. While it would help if she could find more balance, it’s crucial to approach the situation with compassion. After all, friendships require effort from both sides; read more about maintaining relationships amidst parenting challenges in our other blog post about home insemination.
In summary, friendships can thrive even when one person enters the world of parenting. By celebrating milestones, making time for each other, staying flexible, embracing modern communication, and fostering understanding, childfree besties can keep their cherished connections with mommy friends alive.