By Harmony Hobbs
I suspect my partner may have narcolepsy. His uncanny ability to fall asleep the instant he sinks into relaxation is both astonishing and maddening. This supposed narcolepsy isn’t just a minor annoyance in our relationship; it makes me want to shake him awake and demand he join me in my sleepless world. While I struggle for hours to drift off, I inevitably get jolted awake by either his snoring or our kids.
Just the other day, I shared my frustrations with a group of friends and accidentally blurted out, “I think my husband has necrophilia.” Clearly, I’m in desperate need of some shut-eye!
I genuinely love my husband and yearn to spend quality time with him, even to be intimate. However, our children, bless their little hearts, seem to be everywhere—interrupting our conversations and cozy moments, wedging themselves between us. The transition to parenthood has been overwhelming, and keeping our relationship vibrant often feels like a daunting task.
There are days when I feel the urge to scream, “Screw this!” and take a pair of scissors to a gallon of milk, splattering it all over the kitchen just to make a point. I could imagine greeting him with a kiss later and saying, “I spent my day turning our home into a dairy disaster. By the way, we’re out of diapers and bread. See you in a week!”
Recently, I mustered the courage to express that my emotional needs weren’t being met. Intent on discussing my feelings before 8 a.m., I found myself in a scene straight out of a 1950s sitcom—me in my nightgown angrily tackling the dishwasher while he stood there in his work attire, blinking at me with that blank, clueless look.
As we chatted about my feelings, I was all too aware that our eldest children were in the bathroom stuffing balloons down the drains. Ah, the chaotic beauty of marriage and parenting!
I often reminisce about the days when we were trying to impress one another. Back then, I’d spend ages getting ready while he’d surprise me with concert tickets or flowers. Now, adulting involves budgeting, grocery lists, and the ongoing battle over mysterious odors in the car—odors that have endured for weeks!
On one particular Tuesday at 5:45 p.m., I found myself standing at the sink, overwhelmed with thoughts: Who came up with the concept of Hamburger Helper? It’s just a box of chemicals I’m meant to mix with meat and water. Why are the kids screaming? Someone’s bound to get hurt if they keep running through the house—“STOP RUNNING!” And oh no, what’s that stain on my pants? Diaper cream? Fantastic.
Kids were racing around, the TV was blaring, and I hadn’t looked in a mirror all day. Then my husband walked in, wrapped me in his arms, and gave me a kiss so sweet it felt as if time stood still.
This journey we’re on together? I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else, even with his narcoleptic tendencies.
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Summary
In the chaotic life of parenting, navigating emotional needs and relationship dynamics can be a challenge. Despite the overwhelming moments, love persists in small gestures and shared experiences.