Parenting Insights
By: Emily Hartman
Updated: Aug. 3, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 7, 2015
A few weeks ago, a tragic event struck my community. A friend’s husband took his own life while she was away at a meeting. I witnessed the somber moments as the coroner’s vehicle arrived and left, taking away not just a body but the essence of a family’s love and partnership.
In the aftermath, I offered my friend support, but she asked me not to disclose the truth to my children, suggesting I tell them he had died suddenly from an illness. While that’s technically accurate, I believe it’s essential to talk about the real cause of his passing.
Mental health is a significant topic in our home. My family has a history of mental illness—my grandmother battled bipolar disorder, and I live with chronic depression. Tragically, I lost my brother to suicide a few years ago, which has only deepened my resolve to have these conversations.
When my brother died, my children were just 9 and 6. I chose to explain, in age-appropriate terms, that some illnesses are invisible, affecting the mind rather than the body. I told them that my brother had a mental illness and that it led him to make the heartbreaking choice to end his life.
As my kids have matured, we’ve discussed the differences between normal feelings of sadness and the deeper despair associated with serious depression. I’ve made sure they know the signs that indicate it’s time to seek help and that mental health issues are treatable, even if asking for assistance can be daunting.
I talk to my children about these topics not just for awareness but to potentially save their lives. Recently, my daughter noticed the semi-colon tattoo on my wrist, which symbolizes my commitment to living through my own struggles with depression. It represents a pause, not an end—much like how a semi-colon connects thoughts in a sentence.
By sharing openly with my kids, I hope to foster a broader conversation about mental health. Since my brother’s passing, many have shied away from discussing suicide with me. I want to change that narrative. I feel an immense sadness but no shame over his death, and I want others to understand the complexities of mental illness.
Unfortunately, many people still find it challenging to discuss depression due to the stigma surrounding it. I strive to make these conversations easier for others by promoting awareness and breaking down barriers that prevent individuals from seeking help.
In honor of my brother and my friend’s husband, I’ll continue discussing mental health and suicide with my children. I invite others to join this vital dialogue. For more insights on mental health and related topics, you can check out this resource and explore ways to enhance fertility with products from Make a Mom.
In addition, if you’re interested in our privacy policy, you can read it here.
Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of discussing mental health and suicide with children, drawing from personal experiences and family history. The author advocates for open conversations to combat stigma and promote understanding of mental illness. By sharing her journey and the significance of these discussions, she hopes to encourage others to join the conversation and help create a supportive environment for those affected by mental health issues.