It seems like clutter multiplies in my home at an alarming rate—blame it on my husband and kids! To tackle the chaos, I turned to Marie Kondo’s acclaimed book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Her method claims to elevate tidying to an art form and promises lasting results. If I followed her advice, I wouldn’t have to organize again. Who could resist that? I promptly ordered the book, alongside a Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Slicer. Clearly, I was on the right track.
As I flipped through the 204 pages, I sought out Kondo’s secrets, but to my surprise, there were no enchanted Japanese fairies to do the tidying for me. The KonMari Method requires a personal touch; you must sort through your belongings category by category, deciding what to keep and what to let go.
The Great Declutter
Kondo suggests conducting a comprehensive purge of your entire home in one grand session. I suspect she doesn’t have children or the myriad of their belongings. Yet, her blissful narrative inspired me to set aside a weekend and coax my husband into joining this tidying extravaganza.
“Our life will truly begin once we declutter,” I exclaimed, waving the book as if it held the key to happiness. My husband, however, was skeptical. “Can’t we just tackle one room at a time?” he suggested, hoping I’d back down.
“Absolutely not! The KonMari Method insists on a full-on category-based purge,” I replied. “We’ll start with clothes, move to books, then papers, and finally… komono.”
“What’s komono?” he interrupted.
“I can’t recall, but I think it translates to ‘the rest of your stuff.’ We’ll deal with that last, along with the sentimental items—those are the toughest to part with.”
In the end, he relented, probably swayed by my promise of a romantic evening in our newly organized space.
Does It Spark Joy?
The crux of Kondo’s philosophy is that you should only keep items that “spark joy.” Yes, you read that right. You hold an item, peer into your heart, and decide its fate based on the joy it brings. If I were to apply this strictly, I’d only keep my wine, my personal items, and maybe my family—though some days, I really just mean my dog.
Confronting My Husband’s Wardrobe
Bright and early Saturday, we tackled his clothing first.
“Let’s kick this off! Please place all your clothes on the floor,” I instructed.
“On the floor? That’s a disaster waiting to happen,” he argued, but we compromised and dumped his wardrobe onto the bed instead.
“Don’t forget your coats! Gather every piece of clothing from the house!” I enthusiastically commanded.
As he shuffled down the hall, I could’ve sworn I heard him mutter something sarcastic.
“Does it spark joy for you? Does it?” I asked repeatedly as he tossed clothes at me.
To his credit, he was efficient in deciding what brought him joy, which unfortunately meant several items I had gifted him ended up in the discard pile. I couldn’t help but interject, “You’re tossing all your sweaters?”
“When do I even wear those, except when you dress me? Which, by the way, does not spark joy. Now, if you undressed me…” he winked.
“Nice try, but not happening,” I scoffed.
Organizing the Survivors
Once my husband had purged his joyless clothing, we began organizing what remained.
“Can’t we just put them back like they were?” he pleaded, eyeing the newfound space in the closet.
“Not a chance! We need to fold these with care, turning them into neat rectangles and hang up the items that would prefer it. Clothes have feelings too, you know!”
“Are you serious?” he asked incredulously.
“This is how it’s done, or else. I might just KonMari you!” I warned.
It quickly became evident that while he excelled in purging, folding wasn’t his strong suit.
“Not like that! You need to fold them properly,” I instructed, leading him to watch instructional videos on YouTube. “And socks must be treated with respect—never crumple them up! They deserve happiness.”
“You’re losing it,” he grumbled.
“Hey, Kondo says we should thank our socks for their service. We need to become Clothes Whisperers.”
“Are we going to be married after this?” he wondered aloud.
My Turn to Purge
When it was my turn to declutter, I struggled to decide what sparked joy beyond my usual favorites. I repeatedly asked my husband for his thoughts on my outfits, but wisely, he kept his mouth shut.
I also discovered many of my clothes no longer fit. They might not spark joy now, but I’m sure they will once I shed those pesky 10 pounds. So, I heartlessly tossed them into a box in the garage, possibly breaking some KonMari rules.
By day’s end, we had successfully cleared out ten garbage bags of clothing. We meticulously organized what was left in our closets and dressers. It was a tiring process, but our closet looked amazing—even if it didn’t radically change my life.
Onward to the Rest
“Ready for the next phase?” I asked my husband, brimming with enthusiasm.
“What!? The clothes took all day! We can’t finish the rest this weekend,” he protested.
“Of course we can! Let’s power through!” I replied with excitement.
To which he retorted, “You no longer spark joy. Get in the garbage bag.”
In a bid to save my marriage, I shifted my focus to decluttering our bedroom, moving all the books, papers, and komono to the office for another day.
What Did I Discover?
If my bedroom’s transformation is any indication, the KonMari Method can yield impressive results. Despite the bickering, I believe that purging by category and letting go of what no longer serves you is genuinely effective. Will it alter my life? Only time will tell.
While Kondo offers excellent folding techniques, I’m realistic about my laundry routine. I won’t be folding everything her way. My clean clothes will just have to find contentment in the laundry basket. And no, I won’t be conversing with my socks—sorry, Kondo!
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Summary
This humorous account details a couple’s attempt to declutter their home using Marie Kondo’s KonMari Method. The author reflects on the challenges of sorting belongings, especially when it comes to differing perspectives on what “sparks joy.” Ultimately, the process is both a test of their marriage and a pathway to a more organized living space.