30 Simple Steps to Sleep Train Your Toddler

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By: Emma Lane
Updated: Dec. 2, 2020
Originally Published: Sep. 15, 2015

I absolutely cherish my little boy! He truly is, as the world’s greatest babysitter once said, “almost perfect in every way.” He’s sweet, affectionate, curious, bright, and gives the most heartwarming hugs. However, there’s one little hiccup…he’s a terrible sleeper.

I suspect it has something to do with his inability to self-soothe and his belief that I’m his personal source of comfort. When he wakes up and I’m not there, he has no clue what to do except cry. (I apologize, but doesn’t this sound like a typical guy?) Now that he’s nearly 19 months old and my sleep has been disrupted for the past 28 months, I think it’s high time to establish some sleep training methods. Here’s my 30-step plan for getting my toddler to sleep through the night:

1. Follow the usual bedtime routine—rocking and nursing him—to get him cozy and ready for sleep.
2. Proceed with my evening routine, which usually means heading to bed around 2:00 a.m.
3. Get all snuggled up in bed, adjusting pillows until I find that perfect spot.
4. Start to drift off and just reach the edge of deep sleep.
5. Wait, is that a baby crying? Yes, it is. Where is it coming from?
6. My husband nudges me, “The baby is crying.”
7. Unwrap myself from my warm cocoon, preparing to get out of bed while he says, “Just let him cry.”
8. Snuggle back up and stare at the ceiling, listening to the cries.
9. After twenty minutes, I’m left fuming while my husband snores and the baby is calling, “Mommy! Mooooom!”
10. Get out of bed, close the bedroom door, and tiptoe to keep my husband from waking.
11. Make sure all other bedroom doors are shut, so no one else is disturbed.
12. Stand at my toddler’s door, mentally urging him to stop crying.
13. Almost dozing off while standing, I decide it’s best to lay in the hallway and listen.
14. Begin to drift off again, only to be jolted awake by a pain in my hip from the floor.
15. Realize my baby is now sobbing uncontrollably.
16. Think, “Forget this!” and head into his room.
17. I plan to just shush him and leave, but then he smiles and reaches for me, saying, “Mommy!”
18. I scoop him up, melting into his warm little hug and sweetness.
19. Sway back and forth until his head becomes heavy on my shoulder.
20. Believing he’s asleep, I gently lay him back in his crib.
21. Yell, “Oh no!” and dash out when he instantly pops back up.
22. Head back down the hall, close the door, and burrow under blankets and pillows.
23. Realize I can still hear him yelling, “MOMMY!!”
24. Hear my 9-year-old in the hall, realizing the baby might wake everyone up.
25. Throw off the covers with a loud sigh.
26. Meet my 9-year-old, who says, “Mom, the baby wants you.”
27. Curse my overactive uterus.
28. Completely surrender by picking up my toddler, settling into the rocking chair, and nursing him to sleep, noting a cramp in my rear.
29. Accept this routine will continue until he starts kindergarten or I save enough to hire a sleep expert.
30. Finally lay him down, sound asleep, and creep out as the sun rises, reminding myself, he’s only little for a short while. Who really minds? Not me, not at all.

This article was originally published on Sep. 15, 2015.

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Summary:

Navigating sleep training for a toddler can be challenging, especially when they rely heavily on parental comfort. This lighthearted 30-step guide outlines the familiar struggles of a mother trying to establish a sleep routine, including the common obstacles and emotional moments that arise. The journey may be exhausting, but the fleeting nature of these early years makes it all worthwhile.