If you take a moment to glance at the media coverage, you’d think helicopter parenting is a nationwide crisis. Overly involved moms and dads hover over their children’s homework, argue with teachers over grades, and micromanage their college experiences. The stereotype suggests that these parents create lazy, entitled kids unable to navigate the challenges of adulthood because they have been excessively coddled throughout their lives.
But is this really the case? Parenting expert Mia Thompson argues otherwise in her piece, “Dispelling the Helicopter Parent Myth.” We’ve been entrenched in two narratives for far too long: that “intensive” parenting is becoming more common and that it has detrimental effects. It’s time to look at the actual evidence, and Thompson does just that by examining relevant social science research.
Thompson references a significant study from the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE), which gathered data from over 9,000 students across 24 universities. The findings revealed that only 13% of freshmen and 8% of seniors reported having parents who frequently intervened to help solve problems. This certainly contradicts the notion of a widespread epidemic of helicopter parenting. One university official noted that media portrayals of overly involved parents constantly confronting deans over grades are highly exaggerated. A separate survey from 2009 involving more than 10,000 students at the University of California found that most respondents felt their parents were not involved in choosing their majors or courses.
So, perhaps helicopter parenting isn’t the overwhelming issue we’ve been led to believe. Thompson points out that while parents today communicate more with their children than previous generations did—thanks to the prevalence of smartphones—this communication doesn’t necessarily equate to intrusive behavior.
Moreover, a substantial body of research indicates that children with engaged parents actually enjoy better health, behavior, and academic results. The NSSE study highlighted that students with involved parents exhibited higher academic engagement and frequently employed deeper learning strategies. The professor overseeing the study remarked that the children of helicopter parents reported greater satisfaction with their college experiences and excelled in areas like writing and critical thinking.
The crux of the matter may lie in how we define helicopter parenting. Thompson distinguishes between “control” and “involvement.” Involvement refers to the supportive guidance that all good parents provide, such as helping with challenging homework or offering constructive feedback on a paper. On the other hand, controlling behavior might involve parents who impose specific majors or challenge every B grade with the professor. Such controlling parents are not just helicopters; they’re more akin to aggressive bullies, and this type of behavior has always existed.
It’s natural to reflect on how today’s kids differ from our own childhood experiences. Yet, the portrayal of helicopter parents as the controlling, infantilizing figures often depicted in the media seems exaggerated. Supporting our kids—whether that’s shooting hoops with them in the driveway or assisting with tough math problems—has always been a cornerstone of good parenting. It’s beneficial for them to know we are there for them, even as they transition into college and adulthood. If that support is considered helicoptering, then I happily embrace the label.
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In summary, while the notion of helicopter parenting may dominate media narratives, research suggests that involvement, rather than control, is what truly benefits kids. The idea that parents today are excessively overbearing is more myth than reality.