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How Becoming a Parent Is Guiding Me to Embrace Self-Love
People often tell new parents that the love they have for their children is unlike any other—deep and transformative. Anyone who has experienced this bond knows it to be true. The love I have for my son is pure and profound; there’s nothing in my life that compares to it.
As I reflect on this love, my heart aches at the thought of sending him out into a world that can be overwhelming and harsh. When our children experience pain, it resonates within us. As parents, our instinct is to shield them from harm and guide them away from poor choices. Yet, we understand that life is a mix of highs and lows, and we cannot shield them from everything. Our role is to provide guidance while empowering them to become resilient, confident individuals capable of navigating life’s challenges. To do this effectively, we must teach them the importance of self-love and respect.
But how can we instill these values in our children if we have neglected them in ourselves? How can I nurture a son who values himself if I am not practicing self-love? When I find myself accepting less than I deserve in my own life, I realize I must change. What if I cherished myself as fiercely as I do my son? What if I could apply the advice I would give him to my own life? How different would my world be?
These questions surfaced for me a few months ago, leading to the uncomfortable realization that I’ve allowed myself to endure situations I would never want my child to face. I value who I am, yet at some point, I prioritized everyone else’s needs over my own.
So, how am I addressing this? By asking myself a life-altering question: What would I desire for my child? Because I am worthy of that same love.
The first time I posed this question to myself, I was overwhelmed with emotion. The thought of my son dealing with the struggles I’ve faced made things crystal clear. I’ve been trapped in a toxic situation for far too long, and the answer became evident. What would I advise my child? I would tell him to walk away and never look back because he deserves so much more. That’s exactly what I am doing—finally. Because, like him, I am worthy of better.
We often receive advice from others but frequently ignore it. However, when we connect with the love and motivation behind that advice, it can be transformative. Imagining myself in my son’s shoes has helped me understand the importance of self-love. Evaluating my life through the lens of what I would want for him is compelling me to prioritize my own well-being. I am gradually making changes because I know he is observing and learning from me. The most profound way to teach our children about love and respect is to embody those qualities ourselves. We need to harness our strengths to raise empowered children.
The next time you encounter a challenge, I encourage you to ask yourself this one pivotal question: What would I want for my child? While navigating life with a compass of genuine self-love may not yield immediate results, it will certainly guide you in the right direction.
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In summary, becoming a parent has opened my eyes to the necessity of self-love. By treating myself with the same compassion I would extend to my child, I am learning to embrace my worth and make positive changes in my life.