Finding Comfort in the Digital Parenting Community

self insemination kit

I’ve always been a social person, yet I often find myself drawn to solitary work. As a writer, I thrive in my own space. For eight years, I ran a cleaning business, spending most of my days in quiet reflection. I cherished that solitude, immersing myself in thoughts and words while listening to Howard Stern, NPR, and ESPN Radio through my smartphone. This routine provided both entertainment and inspiration, allowing my creativity to flourish without feeling isolated.

Recently, I transitioned from running my business to becoming a stay-at-home mom to our three kids. After careful consideration, my partner and I decided it was best for me to stay home with our twin boys while our daughter enjoys preschool. These early morning writing sessions are now my only moments of peace, and despite being surrounded by our lively dog and two rambunctious toddlers, I often feel a tinge of loneliness throughout the day.

My boys and I have established a routine filled with playgroups, library visits, and trips to Costco and the park. While we encounter other parents, these brief interactions seldom fulfill my social needs. Though we share the common bond of parenthood, not every parent becomes a friend. I appreciate the overly cautious moms who don’t drink or make sarcastic jokes, but I can’t relate to them. I sometimes enjoy a drink at noon, mutter under my breath at my kids, or sneak away while they play in another room—none of which aligns with stricter parenting styles.

Still, I adore my boys and, even on tough days, I worry about how swiftly time passes. I often feel guilty for not being more patient, letting frustration overshadow the joys of motherhood. I regret missing out on those fleeting moments of hugs and laughter, overwhelmed by the demands of caring for two toddlers full-time.

Most of my family members work during the day or live too far away for casual visits, leaving me to seek comfort in the online parenting community that exists within my phone. While I can still listen to radio shows, the constant interruptions from my kids—who vie for my attention or bicker with each other—make it hard to enjoy adult conversations. I’ve accepted the chaos as part of this stage, but it’s challenging to savor grown-up activities with my little ones around.

During those brief intervals when my boys don’t require my attention, I find myself scrolling through social media. It’s not like I can tackle that painting project I’ve wanted to complete for over a year or dive into an engrossing book during those tiny breaks. Even unloading the dishwasher feels impossible with my two little helpers constantly at my side.

I browse through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, skimming articles and news snippets, posting photos of my kids, and sharing relatable content to keep my sense of humor alive—a humor that might not have been so sharp to begin with. This distraction helps me cope with the monotony and loneliness that come with being home all day. In those moments when my boys don’t need me, I escape the desire to do all the things I can’t.

I also connect with fellow parents who understand the chaos of negotiating with toddlers and the challenge of fully dedicating yourself to your kids, leaving little for anyone else. I read articles that resonate with my feelings, chuckle at funny parenting memes, and absorb beautifully written pieces that remind me I’m doing alright while inspiring me to improve.

While scrolling, I feel supported by a community of people—most of whom I’ve never met—who resonate with my unvoiced thoughts and the longing for connection. I embrace parenthood wholeheartedly, but I also acknowledge my humanity. My phone helps tether me to sanity and keeps me connected to the outside world beyond the walls of my home.

Once again, I’m a social creature gravitating toward solitary work. The voices in my phone remind me that this phase is temporary, encouraging me to relish the good and the bad moments because this season will pass quickly. Each like or retweet reassures me that I’m not alone. So, whenever I feel isolated, I reach for my phone to feel less lonely.

In summary, the digital parenting community offers comfort and connection for those navigating the challenges of motherhood. Engaging with others online allows for shared experiences, encouragement, and a sense of belonging, enriching the journey of parenting.