I recently shared a thought on social media that I half expected would lead to my exile from the Internet—or worse, America itself. I wrote: “I tried my annual Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) and, regrettably, I still don’t get the hype.” I braced myself for the inevitable backlash, knowing well that PSL enthusiasts are a passionate bunch.
After a brief hiatus from the online world, I discovered I wasn’t alone in my pumpkin aversion. It turns out I have quite a few allies who share my disdain for this seasonal obsession. There are more of us than I initially thought.
Let’s break this down: You’re either a die-hard pumpkin fan or you’re hoping for a swift end to this pumpkin craze. Perhaps we can coexist peacefully, but first, let me air my grievances.
To those on Team Pumpkin, congratulations—you’ve won this seasonal battle. I admit defeat. I envy your enthusiasm during this time of year when pumpkin-flavored options are practically everywhere. I love chocolate as much as the next person, but during fall, my choices feel utterly limited.
Take my mid-September errands as a case in point:
Stop 1: Coffee Shop
Yes, you guessed it—this is the birthplace of America’s pumpkin craze. Starbucks is the epicenter of pumpkin-flavored everything. As I approached the counter, I prepared to order my usual drink, which is decidedly not a PSL. When the barista called out, “Jessie? Your grande NOT PSL is ready!” I could feel the collective gasp of surprise from the 38 PSL fans around me who were eagerly awaiting their seasonal fix.
Stop 2: Bagel Shop
In the NYC area, it’s hard to mess up a bagel. While I might skip over the standard favorites like Everything or Cinnamon Raisin, I could not help but overhear a mother-daughter duo engaging in a pumpkin-themed debate:
- “I think I’ll go for the pumpkin bagel with plain cream cheese.”
- “Or you could pair the plain bagel with pumpkin cream cheese.”
- “Or both!”
- “Do you think that’s too much pumpkin?”
Honestly, I was grateful for my non-PSL caffeine fix so I could endure that conversation without commenting.
Stop 3: Trader Joe’s
I absolutely adore Trader Joe’s seasonal products, but wow—my rough estimate is that about 90% of their inventory is pumpkin-themed right now. From Pumpkin Butter to Pumpkin Ice Cream to even Pumpkin Doggie Treats, it feels like I’m in an orange-tinted wonderland. I can’t even enjoy free samples anymore!
Stop 4: Doctor’s Office
This is a true story: while waiting at the doctor’s office, the man next to me excitedly called his daughter to announce he had found Pumpkin Spice M&Ms. I genuinely thought I was in some kind of surreal comedy. Who on earth messes with classic M&Ms?
Stop 5: Online World
Finally, after completing my errands, I returned home only to be bombarded by Pinterest promoting all things pumpkin. I clicked on a seasonal board and was met with an endless barrage of recipes like Pumpkin Cheesecake Crepes and Pumpkin Snickerdoodles. It’s an overwhelming onslaught.
In conclusion, I find it fascinating how pumpkins have taken over autumn’s culinary landscape. Apples—once the quintessential fall fruit—have been overshadowed. While many of us still enjoy apple picking and pie, the pumpkin has clearly won the popularity contest.
So here’s to Team Pumpkin: Enjoy your moment in the spotlight while you can, because soon enough, we’ll be back to peppermint and holiday cheer.
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Summary
This light-hearted piece reflects on the overwhelming presence of pumpkin-flavored products during the fall season, contrasting them with the lesser-known apple offerings. The author humorously navigates various locations where pumpkin treats dominate, expressing a playful dissent against the pumpkin spice trend while acknowledging the joy it brings to many.