Fat-shaming has gained notoriety in recent years, referring to the act of belittling someone for their weight. There’s ongoing debate about whether this approach yields any benefits. Can putting someone down for their appearance lead to positive changes? Even if someone loses weight due to such ridicule, does that really justify the means? Or does it merely create an individual who is still discontent with their body, losing weight only to escape the bullying?
I can confidently say that fat-shaming is ineffective—just ask my friend, Laura. Growing up, Laura often critiqued her own body, constantly referring to herself as “fat.” She would stand in front of the mirror, obsessively pointing out her flaws. Unfortunately, this self-criticism influenced how I viewed myself. At just 10 years old, after a fall in the neighbor’s yard, I told a family friend, “Please put me down. I’m too big to carry.” Can you believe that? Ten years old and worried about being “too big.”
Laura’s sharp gaze didn’t stop at her own reflection; it eventually turned on me. As I matured, she would casually comment about my weight, remarking on my “thick thighs” and suggesting I try whatever diet she was on at the moment (and trust me, she tried them all). When puberty hit, I was completely unprepared. My body transformed rapidly, leaving me confused and embarrassed.
One evening, during a gathering, Laura made an offhand comment about my jeans being too tight. The laughter from her friends felt like daggers. I remember crying myself to sleep that night. Instead of motivating me to lose weight, her comments made me want to hide from the world. If my own mother couldn’t see beauty in me, who would?
Now, fast forward to today. I have a beautiful daughter named Sophie, who is just six months old. When she looks at me, all she sees is Mom—and I intend to keep it that way. Yes, I’m heavier now than I’ve ever been, but I also recognize my worth. I created life, and that’s something to celebrate. Instead of hopping from one diet to another, I’ve embraced a balanced approach to food, allowing myself the occasional treat. Sure, I still have days when I struggle with my self-image, but those thoughts no longer consume me. If the weight doesn’t come off right away, I’m okay with that. I’m learning to love the person staring back at me in the mirror.
Laura and I have since talked about our past. She revealed that her own mother subjected her to similar shaming tactics, hoping to guide her toward better choices. Unfortunately, this cycle of mental abuse repeated itself, leading Laura to unwittingly perpetuate it with me.
The truth is that shaming someone never leads to genuine change. What truly works is love, understanding, and compassion. My daughter will never experience fat-shaming, and for that, I can oddly thank Laura. Most importantly, Sophie will grow up knowing her worth is not tied to the size of her jeans.
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In summary, fat-shaming is detrimental and ineffective. It perpetuates a cycle of negativity and self-hate. What truly fosters change is a foundation built on love and acceptance, allowing future generations to grow up healthy and confident.