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Lifestyle
Updated: Jan. 6, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 24, 2015
Since embracing motherhood, I’ve embarked on a journey to connect with fellow new moms. I’ve frequented mother groups, participated in baby music classes, and even joined a women’s group at a church where I don’t attend services. As I navigate the thrilling yet chaotic world of new parenthood, I find comfort in surrounding myself with women who understand the whirlwind of early motherhood. I crave conversations about everything from engorged breasts to diaper disasters. I need to ask, “Is this normal?” to those who truly get the exhausting yet fulfilling nature of this all-consuming love.
However, while seeking new mom friendships, I’ve inadvertently distanced myself from my childless pals. Not intentionally, and certainly not because they lack understanding, but because I’m in survival mode, feeling a bit lost in this new reality. Despite the value of the mom friends I’ve made, I’ve come to realize just how much I still need my childless girlfriends for several important reasons.
- They Help Me Remember Who I Am
I’ve quickly transitioned into “Mommy,” the milk-dispensing, diaper-changing machine who can barely keep her eyes open past 8:30 p.m. My friends remind me that I’m still Jenna, the wine-loving, unapologetic jokester who embraces humor in life (and who, let’s be honest, has never really been a night owl). - They Offer a Listening Ear, Not Advice
When I vent to my mom friends, they often respond with well-meaning advice about sleep training or the best breast pads. Sometimes, all I need is a friend who can listen, pour me a drink, and simply say, “That sounds rough.” - They Adore Holding My Baby
While spending time with fellow moms is fulfilling, it’s not exactly a break from the demands of motherhood. When my childless friends visit, they eagerly hold my baby, allowing me some much-needed downtime. Witnessing my best friends shower affection on my little one brings a tear to my eye (thanks, wine!). - They Ground Me in Reality
Recently, a fellow mom and I lamented that we were failing because our 5-month-olds couldn’t sign yet. When I shared this worry with my childless friends, they practically told me to snap out of it, reminding me that the only sign language I need is “chill out.” - They Prevent Me from Dressing Like a Mom
As a mom, I never judge others for their looks. If sweatpants and a messy bun are your vibe for the day, I’m totally there with you. But my friends encourage me to put in a little effort and remind me that I should never, ever resort to mom jeans or cargo capris. - They Don’t Judge My Parenting Choices
My childless friends are blissfully unaware of parenting debates like co-sleeping versus sleep training. They simply accept me for who I am, and I appreciate that.
Being around my childless girlfriends allows me to unwind, enjoy a drink, and reconnect with the side of me that isn’t just “Mommy.” For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this relevant resource on privacy policy.
In summary, while I cherish my new mom tribe, my childless friends are invaluable. They help me maintain my identity, provide a non-judgmental space, and remind me of the joys of life beyond motherhood. They are essential in helping me navigate this new chapter without losing sight of who I truly am.