This chapter of our lives has certainly tested us in ways we never anticipated. It’s no secret that the early years of marriage can be tough, and we find ourselves right in the thick of it.
Recently, I’ve noticed more young couples like us making the decision to end their marriages, which initially left me stunned. How could they call it quits so soon? But as we sit together in the quiet of our living room, each of us absorbed in our smartphones after a long day, I start to see their perspective. All those warnings about marriage being a challenge were spot on. It’s been anything but easy, and we’d both agree that the “for better or for worse” commitment hasn’t always felt like a stroll in the park.
In just a few years, we’ve weathered a slew of changes—new jobs, unwelcome job shifts, and a few positions that left us utterly drained. We’ve navigated moves, faced the heartbreak of a miscarriage, dealt with health issues, and mourned the loss of loved ones. Financial stress and adult responsibilities have piled up faster than we could have imagined.
Let’s be honest: having children has added a whole new layer of complexity. We argue about trivial things that wouldn’t exist without them—who gets up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday, who manages the tantrums in public, and why on earth you’d give our little one a cookie just before dinner.
Quality time for just us has become scarce. When we finally have a moment together, we often find ourselves doing mundane activities. We binge-watch shows, wander the aisles of Target for a peaceful stroll, or enjoy a movie while indulging in treats we usually deny our kids. The laughter and light-hearted conversations we once shared have faded, replaced by exhaustion. Some days, it feels like we hardly communicate at all, and when we do, it’s often to vent our frustrations at each other.
I know we’ve both questioned if these years were meant to feel this way. We’ve wondered if we’re the only ones struggling to entertain our rambunctious toddler on those long weekends. We’ve asked ourselves if we’re alone in squabbling over childcare duties instead of planning delightful family outings.
Since tying the knot and welcoming our little ones, we’ve prioritized sleep over self-care and nurturing our relationship. We’ve let ourselves go a bit—hello, “dad bod” and “mom bod”! Our social life has dwindled, and our idea of a wild night is ordering pizza to avoid cooking or cleaning.
In just three short years, our marriage has transformed significantly. To some, it may not seem particularly thrilling.
But I want you to know something important.
I anticipated this challenging phase, and I’m not oblivious to the fact that we won’t simply outgrow the difficulties. Navigating through life’s ups and downs is not like mastering a bike—it’s a continuous journey, with each season bringing its own set of hurdles. I know our marriage will evolve, and we will face growing pains along the way.
Yet, even amidst these tough early years, I cherish our life together. I adore our quirky, simple existence. Despite my actions not always reflecting it, I love you during those quiet evenings spent in front of the TV, simply because I’m next to you. I appreciate you as we tackle financial stresses and tough decisions, knowing we’re in this together. This is merely a season, and I’m grateful to be living it with you.
Yes, it can be hard.
Count on more challenges ahead. There will be days when I adore you and days when you drive me a little crazy. We’ll experience pure joy and moments when our faith holds us together. The obstacles may be greater than we’ve faced, yet there will also be times so blissful we’ll wish to capture them forever. We’ll navigate through the mundane and chaotic, the easy and the tough, the sleepless nights, and the victories. Life will keep changing, and so will we.
But through every transition, my dear Partner, my love for you and our life together will remain constant.
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In summary, while the early years of marriage can be filled with challenges, they can also be rich with love and growth. Embracing the journey together, despite the difficulties, makes it all worthwhile.