Parenting Insights
Updated: Feb. 20, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 27, 2020
When it comes to those elusive teenage years, experts suggest that you might need to think outside the box when it comes to digging for information. A little creativity and some open-ended questions can go a long way. Here’s a classic example:
Parent: How was school today?
Teen: Boring.
Parent: What was the most boring part?
Teen: Everything was boring.
Instead of letting that answer slide, consider a more thorough approach: embark on a detailed inquiry about every little thing you have even a hint of awareness about. This strategy can help you uncover vital tidbits of information. Here’s how it might look in real life:
Parent: Did you get the audition music from your band instructor?
Teen: I didn’t go to band today.
Parent: Oh? What were you up to?
Teen: I was at the Geography Competition.
Parent: Were you excused from band to attend that?
Teen: I was actually competing in it.
Parent: Really? That’s a surprise! Is there anything else exciting happening?
Teen: Nope.
Parent: Could you keep me posted if you’re involved in any future school events?
Teen: I’m in the Spelling Bee next week.
As you can see, persistence and specificity are key. Under no circumstances should you let your teen escape the conversation until you feel satisfied. For optimal results, try having these discussions during car rides when your teen is safely buckled in.
Here’s another example:
Parent: Are you planning to attend Homecoming next week?
Teen: Maybe.
Parent: Who do you think you’ll go with?
Teen: A group of friends.
Parent: Who’s in “a group”?
Teen: [lists names of boys and girls]
Parent: Are you going with someone special?
Teen: Sort of.
Parent: How do you know this?
Teen: She asked me, and I said yes.
With continued questioning, I discovered the color of her dress (purple), her favorite flower (rose), and whether my son would need to coordinate his tie (yes). Only after I asked if I would be welcome at the house for pictures did I find out that I was indeed invited! Trust me, no open-ended question would have yielded this kind of information, especially if I just waited in silence. (Plus, let’s be real—basketball practice is about to start!)
So, is there anything else I should know?
If you want more insights on navigating these tricky conversations, check out our other resources, such as this insightful piece about home insemination. And for those interested in enhancing fertility, this guide is a great place to start. For pregnancy-related information, Healthline offers excellent resources.
Summary: Engaging your teenager in conversation requires creativity and persistence. By asking specific questions, you can uncover valuable information about their lives. Remember to approach these discussions in a relaxed setting, and you’ll be surprised at what you can learn!