They say that the first step toward healing and liberation is embracing the truth about yourself, no matter the potential backlash. Among my friends and family, I’ve been somewhat transparent about my unconventional lifestyle. However, in broader social circles, I’ve held back. It’s time to be honest: I am a sober vegetarian, and I’ve proudly upheld this lifestyle for over 15 years.
This journey hasn’t been easy for anyone involved. My family, friends, partners, and even well-meaning event organizers have all made efforts to understand and accommodate my choices. I genuinely appreciate their support, even if it sometimes feels enabling. Yet, I often find myself feeling isolated—not because I long for barbecue or alcohol, but because of the challenge of revealing my sober vegetarianism to the world and navigating the awkwardness that follows.
Consequently, I often find myself explaining my choices at gatherings. It makes for a less-than-relaxing experience. As I move from person to person, politely declining cocktails, beers, and meat-laden appetizers, I sometimes wish I could stand on a table and declare my truth, complete with an apologetic speech. Instead, I find myself pouring grape juice into a wine glass and pretending I’m just not hungry to sidestep the situation.
Of course, there are those persistent individuals who, despite my clear refusals, will insist on serving me a meaty dish and suggest I just pick off what I don’t want. In moments of playful vengeance, I imagine serving them a tofu-packed dish and asking them to do the same. However, I ultimately choose to maintain my peace and keep those rebellious thoughts to myself.
It’s not just die-hard meat lovers who have tried to “save” me. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve poured out, trying to be polite when others use alcohol as an icebreaker or a way to toast. To anyone I’ve offended by discarding drinks in such a wasteful manner, I sincerely offer my apologies.
I know that honesty is the best approach, and while it might seem childish to play along rather than admit the truth, I’ve found that simply saying no often leads to a barrage of questions—an intervention, if you will—where I’m lectured on the medical reasons for consuming meat or alcohol. Apparently, I’m in denial about my iron and protein levels and the supposed risks of not drinking red wine.
For the past 15 years, I’ve lived with the unique shame that only fellow sober vegetarians understand. The double life I’ve been leading—pretending to eat meat or drink alcohol—has finally caught up with me. So, I’ve taken stock of my choices and recognized how they’ve inconvenienced others while leaving me frustrated by the assumptions of the meat-eating, drinking majority. Now, I’m ready to clear my conscience.
I apologize to the servers in countless restaurants whom I’ve inadvertently wronged by insisting on “No meat!” only to receive a dish that clearly didn’t reflect that. I also forgive myself for the frustration I’ve felt towards friends and family who believe side salads are sufficient vegetarian options. Furthermore, I absolve the guilt I’ve carried for adding tofu to my unsuspecting partner’s meals, hoping to win them over to my cause.
To my neighbors, I sincerely apologize for misleading your senses into thinking I was grilling chicken or beef when, in reality, I was just marinating eggplant and veggie burgers in steak sauce. And to everyone who has attended my Super Bowl parties, please don’t hold it against me for enjoying watching you indulge in non-alcoholic drinks while devouring meatless wings. Lastly, to my closest friends, I hope you can forgive me for the strong drinks I’ve made to entertain you, leading to many hangovers and those embarrassing videos I’ve shared.
Fifteen years is a long time to live in secrecy and shame. I recognize that the awkwardness my friends and family feel around me will not vanish overnight; it will take time to adjust. But with the support of my loved ones who have navigated this journey with me, I can finally say, “My name is Lila, and I’m a sober vegetarian—and that’s perfectly fine.”
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Summary:
Lila Thompson shares her journey of living as a sober vegetarian for over 15 years, highlighting the personal challenges and social awkwardness that come with her lifestyle choice. Through honesty, she seeks to address the misunderstandings and assumptions of others while embracing her identity.