I’m expecting my second child—another boy! After this, we’re calling it quits on the baby-making. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier about it. However, it seems that for the rest of my life, I’ll be reassuring people that I’m totally fine with this news.
Gender disappointment is a genuine feeling for many parents, but I’m here to say I’m not one of them. Instead, I’m filled with gender joy. I’m ecstatic about having a healthy baby, especially after the rollercoaster ride of getting here. But that’s a whole different story.
My close friends know that I’m over the moon about having two boys, and I’m just grateful to be pregnant with a healthy baby after a rather challenging journey. Yet, with strangers, the conversation often takes a turn that I didn’t see coming. At just 17 weeks along, I’ve already had the same exchange countless times. Here’s a typical example:
Stranger: Is this your first?
Me: Nope, I have a son.
Stranger: Do you know what you’re having this time?
Me: Another boy!
Stranger [smile fades]: “Oh! Well, that’s OK, right? Boys are fun. And you’ll have a girl next time!”
No one prepared me for these interactions. While I understand that people mean well, I’m not looking forward to repeating myself for the next several months. And the years ahead? I’ll likely be explaining, “No, we’re happy as is, even without a daughter.”
What about moms of adolescent or grown boys? Are you still being asked if it’s “okay” to have only boys? One acquaintance told me, “Congratulations! But just so you know, boys won’t take care of you when you’re older.” I waited for a punchline, but she was completely serious.
You know a secret? I actually wanted two boys! I’ve already mastered the art of diapering, and I know firsthand that little boys can be rambunctious yet sweet, charming yet messy. Plus, I’m thrilled my son will have a brother to grow up with.
Any gender combination would have been wonderful, but I’m genuinely happy with the family I’m building. Yet, it seems there’s a societal expectation for me to wish for a girl. (Truthfully, I recognize that the world doesn’t revolve around my feelings, but this topic seems to be a sticking point.)
So, here’s my straightforward message to everyone I encounter, be it at the grocery store or the local coffee shop:
- Yes! I’m having two boys!
- No, we didn’t try for a girl.
- Yes! It’s a handful, but it’s also amazing!
- No, we’re not considering a third child. Interested in my fertility journey?
- No, I don’t want your homeopathic tips for conceiving a girl.
- Yes, we’ve got tons of toy trucks (but who knows, brother number two might love princesses too).
- Yes, I have nieces who adore Frozen, so I get that dose whenever I need it.
- That’s nice you know someone with two boys who ended up with a girl—still not happening here.
- No, I don’t have an issue with girls or a complicated relationship with my mother; in fact, I think she’s fantastic. I’m just a proud boy mom, and that’s perfectly fine with me.
I hope I don’t spend my life feeling defensive about not having daughters. Instead, I want to focus on being grateful for my two healthy boys, teaching them to bake cookies, respect others, and maybe even how to pour mimosas at brunches with their friends’ moms. Or I might just enjoy sleeping in, since boys tend to do that, right? Right?! Just tell me I’m right!
For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at WomensHealth.gov. And if you’re curious about fertility tips, visit Make a Mom, they are an authority on the topic. For those seeking additional information about insemination, you might find this blog post helpful as well.
In summary, I’m excited about my two boys and hope to embrace my life as a boy mom without feeling pressured to conform to others’ expectations.