The Importance of Fostering a Friendship with Your Child

home insemination Kit

Updated: August 3, 2016

Originally Published: July 1, 2005

Recently, a humorous video titled “I’m Not Your Friend, Kid” gained popularity online, created by vlogger Lisa Greene. The video humorously suggests that parents should avoid being friends with their children, as it can undermine their authority. While the comedic elements of Greene’s presentation were amusing, I have a different perspective on the matter.

In my view, it is entirely possible to maintain a friendly relationship with your child while still instilling discipline and boundaries. Drawing from my decade of parenting experience, I’ve observed that fostering an open and trusting bond with my children is essential for teaching them important life skills. This connection is crucial; without it, effective communication and learning can be challenging.

Finding the Right Approach

Take, for instance, my attempt to get my 9-year-old son to manage his responsibilities around the house. If left to his own devices, he would leave his socks strewn across the kitchen floor indefinitely. His cereal bowl would remain on the table until the milk spoiled, and his Pokémon cards would create a chaotic mess in his room. It became evident that he needed guidance on maintaining order, and I realized that I needed to approach the situation differently.

Rather than resorting to yelling or threats—strategies I had previously tried with limited success—I opted for a more conversational approach. It may sound unconventional, but having a heartfelt discussion with him yielded positive results. The key was timing; I chose to address the issue during our nightly ritual of “special talks,” where we share our thoughts and feelings without distractions.

During these moments, my son and I bond as equals. He opens up about his concerns, and I share my experiences, ensuring to maintain appropriate boundaries. On one such occasion, I discussed the challenges of keeping our home organized due to his scattered belongings. I explained that as he grows older, part of my responsibility is to guide him in becoming a responsible individual who takes care of his things.

The Positive Impact

The impact was immediate; my son understood the importance of cooperation and expressed a desire to improve. While perfection is still a work in progress, the change in his attitude has been significant. Now, when I remind him to tidy up, I am met with willingness instead of resistance. He sometimes playfully asks for leniency, but ultimately, he takes the initiative to clean up.

I aim to instill in my children the values of responsibility and cooperation, not out of fear of authority, but through mutual understanding and respect. Creating a foundation of trust and open communication allows them to grasp the significance of being good individuals. By being their friend, I can effectively convey these vital lessons.

Additional Resources

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Conclusion

In summary, nurturing a friendly relationship with your child can significantly enhance your ability to teach them important life skills. This approach fosters communication, understanding, and ultimately, the development of responsible individuals.