According to the dictionary, homework is defined as:
Homework /ˈhōmˌwərk/ noun
1. Required school assignments completed at home.
2. Study or work done to prepare for a specific event.
But here’s my revised definition:
Homework /ˈhōmˌwərk/ noun
1. A medieval device designed to test parental endurance.
2. The root cause of mood swings, exhaustion, and possibly a few too many glasses of wine.
3. A relentless destroyer of trees.
All jokes aside, I understand the need for homework; it helps children practice the skills they’re learning. However, when you have a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), getting them to focus on homework can feel impossible. Even when they manage to sit still (for a fleeting moment), their attention is elsewhere. Here are ten reasons why I find it challenging to assist my ADHD child with their homework:
- My Patience is Thin
This isn’t on my child; it’s my issue. My impatience clashes terribly with their focus challenges. I try to hide my frustration, but often I feel like a villain in a cartoon. I’ve told them to be quiet countless times when they veer off topic. Maybe they’d work harder if they thought I had sharks with laser beams lurking in the background! - Reality Check
It’s hard to accept that my kids aren’t prodigies. Working on homework reveals that they’re just like any other child—struggling with basic concepts rather than solving complex equations. They’re not the next great inventor; they’re just trying to grasp addition and avoid poking themselves with a pencil. - Organization Issues
My child’s homework is often left at school, or important papers are stuffed into the abyss that is their backpack. I find forgotten assignments and lost progress reports regularly. I attempt to make organization fun (is that even possible?), but I’m met with uninterested stares and visions of their future as a disorganized adult. - Confusion with New Methods
I struggle to keep up with the school’s new teaching methods. The common core principles are quite different from what I learned. I try to help with a problem only to be told I’m not doing it the “right” way. When I ask how their teacher explains it, the response is almost always, “I don’t know.” It’s a miracle my forehead isn’t permanently dented from all the facepalms. - Inattentiveness
It drives me up the wall when I explain a problem and my child is staring at the ceiling. It feels like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. We often have to re-start problems multiple times. During homework, my ADHD child resembles Dory from Finding Nemo. I remind myself to just keep swimming, but it’s a struggle. - Dependency on My Help
Every day, my daughter and I follow the same frustrating routine. We work through a problem together, and then she insists I solve the next one with her. It’s like my assistance has become an addictive crutch, and she can’t seem to break free from her dependency. - Whining and Complaining
“Mom, it’s too hard! I’m never going to understand this!” she wails. Despite my reassurances, she insists that it’s impossible. To top it off, she sometimes confidently declares the wrong answers, claiming she knows better. “Two plus two is five!” she screams in despair. - Busy Schedule
I know I should prioritize my children, but the reality is that I have three of them. During homework time, I’m also managing my younger ones—trying to keep my four-year-old from coloring over her sister’s work while cooking dinner and keeping my two-year-old from launching herself off the furniture. ADHD clearly runs in the family. - Overwhelming Homework Load
My ADHD child faces about an hour and a half of homework every night in elementary school! I don’t remember ever having that much homework at their age. Back then, it was more about creative projects like making a paper mâché volcano. The current workload feels excessive, robbing us of family time. - The Battle to Finish Homework
By now, my child understands the need to complete their homework, but getting them to focus is another story. They claim it’s done after five minutes, only for me to discover they’ve scribbled random nonsense. I often wonder if I’ll find “I like bananas” as an answer. I get that they’d rather be doing something else—so would I! Sometimes I just try to appreciate how adorable they are and hope for a future in modeling instead.
Despite the challenges, I assist my ADHD child with homework every night. It’s a frustrating cycle that feels like Groundhog Day. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel: that glorious moment when everything clicks for them. Suddenly, homework becomes manageable, and it makes all the struggles worthwhile. For that brief moment, I feel victorious, like Frodo casting the ring into the fires of Mount Doom. We made it! At least until tomorrow.
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Summary
Helping a child with ADHD with homework can be a tough and often frustrating experience for parents. Issues such as impatience, organizational challenges, and an overwhelming workload can make the process feel like a never-ending battle. However, the rewarding moment when a child finally grasps a concept can make it all worthwhile, turning the struggle into a triumph.