Shaving my legs has become a mindless ritual for me, one of many tasks expected of women in today’s society. It’s not just about grooming; it’s about conforming to a set of unspoken standards that dictate how we present our bodies. From the Ming Dynasty to modern Hollywood, women have historically submitted to societal pressures that dictate how we should look. Whether it’s foot binding, toxic beauty products, or other extremes, we often forget to question why we feel compelled to adorn and alter ourselves so dramatically.
As my oldest daughter approaches her pre-teen years, I find myself worrying about how to introduce her to these societal norms. I know that soon enough, a classmate will point out her unshaven legs, just as I experienced in the fifth grade. It’s a rite of passage that many women endure, and it’s not the fault of the girl who teases. She has simply absorbed the unrealistic expectations we are all bombarded with daily.
Interestingly, my daughters are completely comfortable barging into the bathroom while I’m busy with my grooming routine. Yet, when I’m shaving my legs, I instinctively pull the shower curtain to hide the razor, avoiding “the conversation” about body hair and feminine beauty standards. I dread explaining why women are expected to remove 70 percent of their body hair without instilling insecurity in them. Should I say it’s because men prefer it that way? Or maybe because smooth legs look better in a tennis skirt?
I want to preserve their innocence for as long as possible. At this age, they view their bodies as powerful vessels that allow them to run, jump, and dance. They see themselves as girls, joyful and unencumbered by the judgments of others. Most young girls don’t yet equate their worth to how they measure up against societal standards of beauty. This is a fleeting moment, and I wish to keep it alive.
I fear the day they start to view their worth through the lens of others’ opinions. The male gaze, even one echoed by other girls, can feel like an oppressive force, one that could dim their self-esteem. So, I continue to shave in secret, adhering to the cultural expectations that dictate how I should look. Whether it’s managing body hair or applying makeup, I often find myself wishing I could focus my time on things I genuinely enjoy—like painting or diving into a good book.
It seems that societal norms are too powerful to resist entirely. While there were once women who challenged these conventions, the pressure to conform has only intensified. We often police each other, critiquing appearances and perpetuating a cycle of insecurity amongst women. I wish my daughters could continue to see their bodies as functional and strong rather than mere objects to be admired or criticized.
Ultimately, I hope they can grow up knowing their true worth lies in their abilities and character, not in arbitrary standards of beauty. They are so much more than what society often reduces them to.
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Summary
As mothers, we face the challenge of guiding our daughters through the societal expectations of femininity while striving to preserve their self-worth and confidence. The pressure to conform to beauty standards is pervasive, yet we can encourage them to appreciate their bodies for their strength and capability. By fostering open conversations and providing resources, we can help our daughters navigate the complexities of womanhood without losing sight of their true selves.