“Mama, is it possible for me to have green hair on picture day?” my 4-year-old chimes in a playful tone. It’s not exactly a request you’d expect from a little one; usually, it’s something a teenager would bring up.
“Maybe a braid or something would be nice?” I suggest.
“Okay, Mama. But I really want to be pretty like you.”
At that moment, my heart melted. Here’s why:
- She wants to emulate me (and yes, I currently have green hair!).
- She sees her mom (me) as beautiful.
- She thinks I’m beautiful with green hair.
I’m overjoyed on all fronts.
Picture day at preschool is just around the corner. The teachers have been buzzing about it, sending emails, and even placing stickers on our kids’ clothes that read, “PICTURE DAY IS TOMORROW. WEAR BRIGHT COLORS. DON’T FORGET TO SMILE!” Clearly, they want us to be prepared.
Before the request for green hair came up, I hadn’t planned on doing anything special for my daughter’s appearance. I was thinking it would be just another day: comfy Gap play clothes, a messy ponytail, and well-worn sneakers. Why should I wake up early to fuss over her hair when I can barely manage to apply deodorant on myself?
However, my daughter’s desire for green hair got me pondering. The sticker said, “WEAR BRIGHT COLORS,” after all. Should I give her the green light? We still have some Halloween hair spray-paint from last year that could do the trick, but it tends to stain everything.
Then there’s option two: I have jars of Manic Panic hair dye that I could use to just add a touch of color to her ends.
Yes, I’m aware that considering coloring my 4-year-old’s hair might seem a bit extreme. I totally understand that. But when your little one expresses a desire to mimic you, especially in such a bold way, it’s hard not to swoon.
It’s one thing for her to admire my eyes or my shiny rings, but it’s another when she says, “Mama, I wike your wips!” while I’m sporting bright red lipstick, or “Mama, I wike your nails,” when they’re painted blue or black.
In the suburban town where we live, such unconventional styles are quite rare. Most people gravitate toward the standard yoga pants and flip-flops. The only one who stands out is me—her mom—and a fellow parent with purple hair who I spotted at library story time last week.
So, does her admiration for bold colors mean I’ll give in to her requests? Absolutely! Well, maybe not lipstick for school; we’ll save that for the weekends. If I find a moment, I’d love to paint her nails black or blue, and of course, she can have fake tattoos.
I come from a lineage of free-spirited mamas. My own mother allowed me to express myself however I wished, whether it was with multicolored pipe cleaners in my hair or a jewel stuck to my forehead inspired by Gwen Stefani.
Honestly, if it weren’t for the strict guidelines in my daughter’s school handbook, I wouldn’t hesitate to dye her hair. But I’m choosing to pick my battles with the school system, which often stifles creativity. I firmly believe that most public schools do a disservice by limiting our children’s imaginative expression.
That said, I want to encourage my daughter’s unique view of beauty. Green hair could be just the beginning of her embracing diverse standards of beauty—different body types, skin tones, and hair textures.
So, post-picture day, we’ll indulge in some green hair chalk and take fun photos together. Don’t worry, it washes out easily! We’ll let her explore her creativity and redefine beauty in her own way.
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In summary, embracing our children’s desires for self-expression can be both rewarding and liberating. As a parent, it’s my mission to support my daughter’s imaginative spirit while navigating societal norms.