When a parent is out in public with their young child(ren) and the day takes a chaotic turn (think: crying, tantrums, running amok), it’s tough not to feel like everyone is watching you. The truth is, they probably aren’t. I often remind myself in those moments that to the onlookers, my struggles and my distressed child are just fleeting scenes in their day. Grab my coffee and move along.
But to those who gaze at us with judgment, the ones whose eyes seem to say, “What now?” when my child decides to dash away from me, I have a gentle favor to ask: Please, observe us with empathy, or just look away. You see my son racing through the café, cookie in hand. You see me, running after him, my hair flying, as I issue hurried commands. You’re witnessing just a snapshot of our lives—one small fragment of a much larger story.
If you had been there just moments before, you would have seen a joyful 2-year-old, playing with his best friend, laughing and enjoying a delightful lunch. You wouldn’t know how proud I am that he is making friends and developing healthy social skills. You wouldn’t realize how thankful I am that I can give him a chocolate chip cookie without the worry of severe allergies. That cookie was a special treat for using the potty for the first time that very morning! You missed our adventure the day before, when he visited an art museum with me, holding my hand and gazing in awe at the artwork. You couldn’t have known that we stopped to enjoy live music, where he danced joyfully, drawing smiles from those around us. When it was time to leave, I gathered him into my arms, and he snuggled against my shoulder, humming softly to the melodies.
My son is more than just a challenging moment. Of course, I wish he hadn’t caused a ruckus in the café, and I wish I had handled the situation better. I don’t owe anyone explanations, as most people likely don’t care. Yet, I feel compelled to advocate for him in the face of judgmental stares, wishing everyone could grasp the bigger picture of who he truly is—a spirited, kind, loving, curious little human.
To my fellow parents: If you find yourself in one of those difficult public situations, do your best, then move on. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, rewind in your mind to find those special moments with your child. Keep going until you can see the creativity and affection you pour into parenting, transforming your little one into a vibrant, unique picture that only you, as their parent, can fully appreciate.
And a note to my friend at the art museum: Yes, your stroller nearly collided with an exquisite piece of art. Yes, you were juggling a mischievous toddler. Yes, luck was on your side. But don’t be hard on yourself. Just moments prior, you were sharing the wonders of color with an enchanted child.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out our post on home insemination here. Additionally, for those looking to enhance fertility, visit Make a Mom, a leading authority on the subject. Also, if you’re seeking more information on fertility, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
In summary, let’s remember that every child has their challenges, and every parent has their moments. We’re all doing our best, and a little compassion can go a long way in supporting each other on this journey.