If you were to catch a glimpse of me in the grocery store with my little one, you might find yourself shaking your head or rolling your eyes. Perhaps my cart, parked squarely in the middle of the aisle, would spark your impatience as I dig through my oversized bag for the box of Mike and Ikes I stashed away for this very moment. You know, that inevitable meltdown when my son starts crying to be held, and I’m left bribing him with candy to keep him content in the cart.
Yes, I’m that mom, and I don’t regret it.
I’m the mom who resorts to bribery, negotiation, and a bit of pleading when the situation calls for it. I’m the one who allows my child to nibble on cookies and sweets before dinner if it means avoiding a scene. I’m the mom who hands my 2-year-old a butter knife in a restaurant just so I can enjoy the meal I paid for. I’m the one who leaves the socks behind because I’d rather crank up the heat in the car than listen to him wail, “No socks!”
I’ve found myself at my wit’s end, willing to do whatever it takes to survive the grocery store, endure a meal out, sit through a church service, or simply make it to bedtime. I never imagined I would be that mom. When I was pregnant, I watched other mothers plead with their children to sit still and vowed I would never resort to that. I envisioned myself as the firm parent who wouldn’t negotiate. It would be my way or the highway. I’d let him cry it out, I said.
Little did I know, my child would turn my beliefs about motherhood upside down. I had no idea he would be just as stubborn as I am and want to be in charge, too. I couldn’t foresee how deeply his tears would affect me or the lengths I would go to in order to prevent them. My son has transformed me into the mom he needs, the kind who understands and is willing to adapt.
I’m that mom who recognizes that a child’s joy is invaluable, especially since they’re little for such a brief time. I’m the mom who can discern when sleepiness fuels a tantrum and opts for a hug instead of a reprimand. I choose simplicity over difficulty, joy over chaos, and fun over frustration.
Yes, I’m the mom you might think is a bit out there, dancing in the rain to keep my son from crying. I’m the one who scoops him up like a football, or “hotball,” as he calls it, racing toward a touchdown instead of insisting he walk like a big boy. I’ve learned that candy isn’t the enemy (it’s more of a lifesaver in these moments), and negotiating doesn’t equate to weakness.
Being that mom doesn’t mean I’m taking the easy route; it means I’m setting aside my preconceived notions of motherhood to become the parent my son truly needs. So go ahead and roll your eyes. Whisper to your partner about my parenting choices. Gasp when you see my toddler playing with a butter knife, or any other tool you think should be off-limits. Wait impatiently while I allow my son to press buttons on the debit card machine.
I apologize for the delay, but I won’t apologize for being that mom you promised yourself you’d never become. Maybe you’ll stick to your ideals and never resort to bribery. Maybe you’ll manage to let your child cry it out in the moments when I don’t have the strength. Perhaps you’ll embody the mother I once aspired to be, the one who has it all together. Maybe your child won’t need you to be that mom.
However, my son needs me to be, and I’m unapologetic about it. So, if you find yourself in the position of becoming the mom you thought you’d never be because your child’s needs outweigh your desire to avoid that role, I hope you embrace it without regret. After all, sacrificing what we want for what our children need is the essence of motherhood, and it’s something we should cherish.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this informative resource here. And if you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. Also, the CDC offers a wealth of information on pregnancy and related topics.
In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with unexpected turns and choices that often lead us to become the parents we need to be for our children.