Before I became a parent, I was convinced that honesty was the best policy. I envisioned a home full of transparency, where I’d teach my little ones about truthfulness and coping with disappointment. I believed that lying would lead them down a dark path. This mindset persisted even during my twins’ infancy, when I was all about no-screen time and no-sugar rules. Fast forward to now, with two nearly-3-year-olds, and my perspective has shifted significantly. Television is now my trusty ally, and I’ve been known to offer chocolate chips or animal crackers as incentives.
And yes, I tell my kids little fibs on a regular basis. (No shame here!)
1. It’s Broken
This classic tactic never fails. When they beg for just one more episode of their favorite show while I’m trying to usher us out the door? I simply declare, “Sorry, the TV is broken.” If they want to press buttons on the phone and potentially call emergency services? Oh no, that phone is definitely broken. Climbing on the kitchen counter to splash water everywhere? Oh dear, the faucet is broken too! On days when I’m running on fumes and counting down to bedtime, a lot of things around the house mysteriously become inoperable.
2. It’s Coffee
Coffee is sacred in my world, and my twins quickly grasped that it’s hot and off-limits for them. So, I took advantage of their understanding. Any drink I don’t want them to have? It’s all coffee. Iced tea? Coffee. Diet soda? Coffee. Even wine? Yep, that’s coffee too. They might eventually figure out that it’s impossible for one person to consume that much coffee, but for now, it works wonders.
3. I’m Working
As a writer who works from home, my laptop is my lifeline. When my partner explained to the kids that they shouldn’t disturb me because I was working, they accepted it without question. However, my “work” sometimes includes scrolling through social media or catching up on celebrity gossip—definitely not the important tasks they imagine. Now, when they see me on the computer, they ask, “Are you working, Mom?” Uh, absolutely! Just the most critical work, I assure them. Can you please come back in five?
4. The Dog Wants You To
Having a dog is a huge win for toddlers. Our furry friend has a surprising amount of influence over my twins. Since I’m the one who takes care of her, I’ve decided it’s only fair for her to help me out in return. For instance, “Let’s head to your room—Penny wants to tuck you in for a nap!” Or, “Oh, Penny’s barking? She must want you to lie down so I can change that diaper.” If only it worked for early morning wake-ups too!
5. It’s Medicine
My little ones have developed a strong aversion to medicine, declaring it vile. This can be frustrating, but it also has its perks. That box that resembles Girl Scout cookies? Definitely medicine. That delicious fudge I bought during a weak moment? Yep, medicine! (It does help with those pesky cramps, after all.)
While I know that telling these little lies might not win me any parenting awards, I don’t feel guilty. I’ve realized that sometimes, as a parent, you just need to do what it takes to get through the day. No guilt necessary.
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Summary
Parenting often requires a bit of creativity and occasional fibbing to maintain sanity. From declaring items “broken” to using coffee as a catch-all for forbidden drinks, these little lies can make daily life with toddlers a bit easier. After all, sometimes survival is the name of the game!