Becoming a parent comes with a plethora of unspoken truths. Here are three revelations that caught me off guard:
- The pain of labor is beyond anything you can anticipate.
- Breastfeeding can be quite painful too.
- Adolescence? Yep, it’s just as challenging (refer to No. 1).
However, the most astonishing secret that no one shared with me is that parenting is a temporary role—a phase rather than a lifelong commitment.
There’s a lot of talk about the myth that parenting is an everlasting journey, where your children will always rely on you. In reality, I believe parenting, much like pregnancy, should be viewed as a short-term assignment.
Remember those long months of pregnancy? It felt like time stood still as your belly expanded. But then, in a flash, it’s over. You’re no longer pregnant, yet your life has been irrevocably transformed. Even the most stubborn pregnancies eventually culminate in the greatest gift. The conclusion of pregnancy is inevitable.
I should have recognized that the conclusion of parenting is also unavoidable, though no one ever mentioned the gestation period of parenting or when to expect retirement. There is indeed a timeline, albeit somewhat fluid.
In the beginning, parenting feels like it stretches on forever—sleepless nights, worries about bullying, endless homework sessions, sweltering days on the soccer field, and concerts that seem to drag on. Then—whoosh!—it’s suddenly over. One moment you’re central to every decision; the next, your input is no longer sought. Thanks for your time!
Veteran parents warned me that parenting would be the toughest job I’d ever cherish. But not one of them hinted that it might also be the only profession where hard work and good fortune can lead to unemployment. As a parent, you truly reach the pinnacle of your career when you find yourself out of a job.
As much as I adore being a parent, if I do my job well (and get a bit lucky), I will transition from a full-time role to a part-time consultant, available only when my expertise—or credit card—is required. Eventually, if all goes smoothly, I’ll be let go from this consulting gig too.
If you’re fortunate, this parenting phase wraps up with you receiving not a gold watch but a cadre of competent, caring young adults. Congratulations! You’re fired.
Sure, I may still dabble in parenting from time to time. The phone might ring, and one of my kids (thanks to my family plan) may ask for instructions on how to cook a gourmet dish. There might be the occasional long-distance call lamenting the loss of a wallet or a credit card. Perhaps I could still lend a listening ear to a broken heart.
However, I firmly believe that the parenting role is designed to become obsolete. In essence, I will always be a parent, but I won’t always be actively parenting. Ideally, my kids will flourish without my constant guidance.
When they no longer need me, that will be the ultimate evidence that I’ve done my job right. Otherwise, what’s the reward for completing this demanding project? There’s no gold watch waiting for me upon “retirement.”
The proof of my parenting journey is evident. The countless birthday parties, friendship upheavals, and midnight pick-ups in my slippers have left their mark—visible in my graying hair, the plethora of family photos, and the beloved picture books still lining the shelves.
The most substantial evidence that I’ve succeeded (and enjoyed a bit of good fortune) is the remarkable young adults who share my DNA and love of film.
My eldest has navigated her first year post-college and is gainfully employed. My second child took the initiative to embark on a gap year and is now in college as promised. Rounding out the trio is my high school freshman, who is pretty much ready to soar.
It appears my parenting days are numbered as my previous responsibilities can be delegated to alarm clocks, takeout menus, friends, partners, teachers, and mentors. I’m looking forward to being jobless, relying on my children to rise on their own, seek out opportunities, and find the emotional support they need. I’m counting on them to become the passionate, competent young adults that the world needs.
I’m perfectly fine with the idea that their success means my employment comes to an end. I’ll still be nearby, in my new role as a consultant, prepared to step in when necessary but grateful for my newfound free time.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, you can check out our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in learning more about pregnancy, Women’s Health provides excellent resources. Additionally, Cryobaby is a great authority on home insemination kits.
In summary, parenting is a temporary yet transformative role that ultimately leads to a rewarding conclusion. Embracing the end of active parenting allows for the celebration of our children’s independence and success.